Putting on the Armor

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imageLast week at our Women’s Bible Study, we spoke of putting on the Armor of God. The author of our study, Chip Ingram, emphasized that there is no formula as some would propose, but wearing the Armor of God is a lifestyle. I agree with this wholeheartedly. There must be a regularity of purpose to stay clothed in the armor. To me this means reading my Bible daily and writing in my journal. It means praying throughout the day. It means worshiping and studying God’s Word together with other believers. We lift each other up.

The Wednesday evening Men’s and Women’s Bible Studies are powerful. We don’t realize how powerful we are with God in us. Putting on the Armor of God is like a soldier putting on every piece of protective equipment. It is purposeful and deliberate. To forget any piece, would leave the soldier vulnerable and in danger.

Life is full of temptation. It’s often not the “big” temptations that are stumbling blocks but the “little” ones. As I read the passage from the letter to the Galatians, this past Sunday, about the fruit of the Spirit, this was very apparent. Paul wrote of the sinful nature before he listed the fruit of the spiritual nature. He began with sexual impurity but included such things as hatred, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition and envy. Who hasn’t succumbed to many of these? Pastor Carol said our job is to stay attached to the vine (Jesus) and not to judge other branches. That is God’s job, not ours. By staying attached, we produce Spiritual fruit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-control. I’m glad self-control is on the list because this is often forgotten. The Armor of God protects us from the schemes of the devil often by giving us self-control. It is a power from within that is greater than we could muster on our own. The control within to say “no” when temptation in any form comes our way, is from God. I am not perfect by any means. Do I get angry? Do I envy? Every day I can fall prey to these sins. But God’s Spirit is working in me to change the old nature to a new, perfect nature. But I must stay attached to His power. I can do nothing but fail without Him. I do not have the strength within me for Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-control. This fruit falls out of my reach. But God gives all these and more as a gift. If I desire His gifts with all my heart, they are mine.

Lord, help me to live out this Truth. Hold me close to You. Wrap Your loving arms around me and protect me as I go through my day. Put Your Spirit in me. I am Your child. Help me act like a daughter of the King!

Finishing Well

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imageAs I am writing this morning, it is bitterly cold outside: zero degrees with a wind chill of -16. Tim gets to stay snuggled in bed since he is off work today for MLK’s birthday but I must trudge out in this most unwelcome season of Indiana weather. My thoughts can’t help but long for early February when we will be traveling down to southeastern Alabama for my son, Garrett’s, graduation from flight school. I’m sure it won’t be hot there but it will definitely be a lot warmer than here. My dreams today are in the south, two weeks in the future. This has a way of affecting my presence in the now.

Just yesterday, I stood in front of our church as liturgist and stated, “This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.” I said it with conviction. I think I was trying to convince myself and all the others who had braved the cold of the truth of this statement. This is the day to rejoice, not tomorrow or next year or 10 years from now when we reach whatever we seek that will bring us “the good life.” Isn’t it the American Way to grasp hold of our right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness? We look anxiously forward to the next level, forgetting to stay present where we are and finding joy in what is now.

Granted, there are special events that it is only right to look forward to in anticipation. I’m excited to see Garrett graduate. He has invested 18 mo. of his life learning to fly helicopters. This is a huge accomplishment that must be celebrated. Great deeds begin with the setting of a goal and persisting until they are finished. But if our focus is too much on the future then we lose the enjoyment to be found in each moment. There is a tension between the two views that pull against each other. I find myself often struggling to find balance.

As I am moving past mid-life, I can look back and say that I have been fortunate to be able to accomplish many of my dream goals. I set my mind long ago to get my medical degree so that I could care for others. This has been my vocation now for over 30 years. I prayed to raise my children to adulthood and they are now each successful in their own lives. Now I get to watch them continue to grow and change into the beautiful people they are now and are becoming in the future. These are two big goals that have impacted everything else in my life. I fully understand how blessed I am.

But what of future goals? Am I over the hill, on the downward slide? Oh, I hope not! I pray that God has much more in store for me. My goal now is to retire, in the not too distant future, healthy with little or no debt, if possible. This is a little bit selfish but it also isn’t. I want to be in good enough shape to give away medical care and have more time for mission work here and abroad. I want to make writing a priority because I get the sense that God wants me to share my thoughts. But most of all, I want to not be so busy with “work” that I don’t have time for the grandchildren that I hope to have someday.

Only God knows what lies ahead. These are my dreams. God may have a much different plan. Overall, I want to run the race of life and end it well, no matter what situations, good or bad, are coming my way. So many of the kings of Israel and Judah started out well but ended badly. Often it was pride that tripped them up. They chose to depend upon themselves or other idols rather than God. Their dreams took precedence over God’s plan.

So in everything, we must weigh whatever we do in reference to it’s value in God’s eyes. Am I building His kingdom here on earth or tearing it down? Are my thoughts set on Him or some earthly desire? What lies ahead in His heavenly kingdom is greater than anything we could dream of here. But that doesn’t mean that we ignore needs here because we’re looking toward heaven. In the Lord’s Prayer, I pray every Sunday, “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” Building HIs kingdom here should be the foundational goal of everything we do, little or big. Is it? Or are we chasing after the fleeting happiness this world offers? If I am honest, the answer is both.

Lord, open my mind to truly grasp the motivation behind my goals. Help me in the day to day struggles to keep my thoughts focused on Your will in the midst of chaos and confusion. Though I am tested every step of the way, let me always, in everything, be a builder of your kingdom here on earth through love and compassion. But more than anything, let me find joy and gratitude in every day I have been given. When my race is over, take me home to rest with You.

Rest In Peace

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imageLife has a way of smoothing off the rough edges of our personalities. I’ve been a witness to this in my own life and have had the privilege of walking through this process with others. Sometimes I am surprised by the results.

Today we laid to rest my ex-husband’s father, Rex. Throughout the nearly 40 years that I knew him, we had not always seen eye to eye. Maybe it was our stubbornness that blocked the way to peace between us. We both could tend to be very bull headed with each other. Needless to say, after Dan and I were divorced, I didn’t have a whole lot of contact with Rex. Even though the rest of the family was reconciled with each other, neither of us sought the other out. We kept our distance. That was easier. Through the years, my children would keep me up to date with him. They told me that he had become diabetic and was having a hard time of it. Then he was diagnosed with cancer and physically he became dependent on others for his every need. It became impossible for his wife, Maxine, to continue caring for him at home so he eventually was transferred to a nursing home. His suffering seemed to go on and on. The kids told me that Grandpa had changed. Suffering will do that, for good or for bad. Suffering is one way that life smooths off the rough edges.

I was confronted with my lack of reconciliation with Rex when he had a stroke and was transferred to the hospital a little over 3 weeks ago. My daughter, Anna, called me from his room with questions about hospice. Maxine and the family were debating whether this was the right move. The hospice nurse had been in but they hadn’t heard from Rex’s doctor yet. I tried to answer their questions from my experience but in my heart, I knew I needed to do more.

As I was driving from one work site to another, there was an inner voice nudging me. It kept saying, “You need to go see Rex.” I won’t try to act as if I didn’t argue with the inner voice. Remember, I am stubborn too. But when I reached the intersection that would take me to the hospital, I turned. Isn’t that really what listening to the Spirit is all about? Turning to notice the burning bush. We must turn our attention when God calls or simply ignore the sacred places He wants to take us. He was taking me to a sacred place my humanity did not want to go.

When I walked into the room, Rex looked frail. I didn’t expect him to be the robust, giant of a man who I remembered. He had been through so much. But I also didn’t expect the peace I felt as I touched his hand. There was a gentle glow about his face. The rough edges were all gone. Here was a man who had suffered and was not afraid of death. He was transferred to hospice and faded away peacefully this last week-end with Maxine at his side.

I think the minister presiding over the memorial today said it best when he asked the rhetorical question, why is there suffering? Why do some suffer so much more than others? The answer: we don’t know. But in the process, we learn to trust, to trust in those who care for us and to trust in the God who made us. In that trust, we allow God to smooth off all our rough edges to become the beautiful person He created us to be.

Until we meet again, Rex, rest in peace.

In His Presence

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imageA new journal…a new day! I’m writing my first page while drinking a pumpkin/banana smoothie and eating a pumpkin spice English muffin for breakfast. Yum! It’s definitely fall. The mornings are crisp but the days are still warm. I was too busy yesterday with work to walk over lunch so I went out after dinner for a walk down to the turkey farm and back. The sun was setting as I returned home. The light across the golden soy bean fields contrasting with the stark blue sky is amazing this time of year. I took a photo last fall of the fields with the old barn across the road to try to capture it’s beauty but it doesn’t really compare to reality. I must hold the beauty in my mind’s eye to remember in dark days how absolutely spectacular the world can be.

The Spirit of the Lord hovers over the earth re-creating nature all around us. We see the seedlings sprout up after the devastation of fire destroys a landscape. Life is reborn. How can a person not believe in a creator God in the midst of all the wonders around us? Order comes out of disorder. The simple becomes complex. This doesn’t happen randomly. But how do I explain the existence of God in the first place? How did He come about? He is outside of time. He is eternal. It’s beyond anything I can understand but I know He exists as sure as I know that I exist. I don’t see Him but I sense His presence around me and within me. His Spirit hovers over me, re-creating in me newness of life, hope in times of despair, the ability to see beauty even in the darkness. This is a light that is beyond me but yet a part of me. A deep sense of joy and peace fill my heart. No matter what lies ahead, the Lord is with me. This is the reward of faith. It is not heaven, although that will be wonderful. It is His presence in the here and now. The kingdom of God is here. It is eternal and cannot be destroyed. It is invisible, yet everywhere, if only you focus the eyes of your heart to see it. <3

Recipe for Pumpkin/Banana Smoothie:

Cut up pieces of banana the night before and place in a ziplock bag to freeze for the next morning. Place the frozen banana pieces in a Nutrabullet or whatever you have to blend the smoothie. Add 1/3 c. of canned pumpkin purée and 1/3 c. of vanilla Greek yogurt. If desired, add a scoop of protein powder. I like Tera’s Whey Vanilla Bourbon. Sprinkle with pumpkin pie spice and add coconut or almond milk. I usually put in about 1/2 c. but this amount can be more or less to get the consistency you want. I add a package of Truvia to make the smoothie a little sweeter but honey would be good also. Blend and enjoy!

Hidden in Plain Sight

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doorI slept well last night, thank goodness! I wrote yesterday about worry and how it keeps me awake sometimes. It was probably one of the most open posts that I have written. It’s a little scary to put out on the web to all my friends (and friends of friends) that I have a problem with anxiety. In reality, I’m sure they already know this. To write openly about my struggles and how I feel, is good for me and I hope, good for others. Not in a whiny, “Oh, woe is me” kind of way, but showing how the Lord helps me deal with the trials of life day by day. Sometimes I don’t think I realize how much He helps me even in the little things.

As I was getting my post ready to publish yesterday, God interrupted my day to get my attention. I was scanning through my phone looking for a photo that would be appropriate for my post. The title was “More Than a Sparrow” so I wanted a picture of a sparrow as an illustration. I always try to use one of my own photos if possible. I had pictures of other birds but no sparrows. I was sitting at my desk, looking down at my phone, when a bird hit my window. It was a sparrow! The bird was not hurt. It proceeded to light on a nearby branch between my window and the pond behind the clinic just long enough for me to take a picture. The photo was beautiful. It was framed by green foliage with the bird silhouetted against the pond. Even through the cloudy window of my office, it turned out to be a great photo, better than I had imagined!

Just at the right moment, a sparrow appeared to pose for just the right photo. Wow! God, you are something! Were Your angels having fun with me yesterday? It’s like You’re saying, “I’m here, silly. Don’t you see me? I’m hidden in plain sight.” If God cares enough about me to send me a sparrow to photograph, how much more will He do for me and with me for the rest of my life? It’s humbling and mind-boggling at the same time.

There will be those who will say that this was just a coincidence but I don’t believe this for a minute. There are things that happen that are too much to be just random occurences. I’ve written in my blogs before about having eyes to see and ears to hear God all around us. But sometimes our hearts are so hard toward God, we don’t see the evidence of His existence. We can’t see it because we refuse to see. We put blinders over our eyes and plugs in our ears to keep God out. We lock Him out of our hearts.

I love the picture of Jesus knocking on a door. It’s a classic in religious art. The artist skillfully left off the door handle because the door must be opened from the inside. A heart must be open for Jesus to enter. He knocks on the door of our hearts, sometimes with a sparrow that appears miraculously at just the right time. All we have to do is open the door to greet the One who was there all along waiting for us to see Him hidden in plain sight.

More Than a Sparrow

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imageI am notoriously a poor sleeper. I’ve often said that being on call for so many years and having to jump out of bed to go deliver a baby, ruined my sleep pattern forever. But I think it is more than just that. Sometimes my mind stays active and I just cannot turn off my thoughts long enough to go to sleep. I know many people who have this same problem. I realize that this is anxiety but it’s difficult to just relax and let go of the worries of the day. The more I try, the more the thoughts circle in my head. I pray to not worry and I am better for a time, then I have another night like last night with no sleep again.

I know that Jesus said to not worry about anything. The Father takes care of even the sparrows. But Lord, you gave me a mind that thinks much more than the sparrow. It ruminates on every bad thing that has happened and magnifies what might happen in the future. Memory can be used in helpful as well as hurtful ways. If I chose to remember all that God has done for me, then I am grateful. If I chose to recall how the Lord has walked with me through the valley of the shadow of death but also along good, fruitful paths, I am comforted and confident in the future. But if I focus on the negative in my life, the circle of worry begins again.

This ability to remember and reason are solely human traits. Some animals can do this but only in very rudimentary, basic ways. The human mind is an amazing organ, better than any computer invented. If such a computer was ever made that performed up to the mind’s standard, it would be done only because God gave us the mind to do it and instilled in us His creative force. The mind is powerful but yet it can also torment us and hold us down with fear and remorse. Animals can fear but we humans take fear to a new level by fearing things we have never experienced and likely never will. We are able to extrapolate the tragedies that have befallen others as if they have happened to us. This is empathy and is an offshoot of compassion but taken to an extreme, it can be debilitating. Our information age with news reports 24/7 can promote anxiety and fear if we fail to turn it off.

Using our mind as a transformational tool is the key. Our mind controls our habits. Any good or bad habit is formed in the mind first. Change your thoughts and your actions will naturally follow. The Apostle Paul encouraged his readers, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Through human will and God’s power, this can happen. I have seen amazing things occur when will and power move in concert with each other. Those who have gone through the 12 steps of AA can attest to this. Transform the mind and actions will be conformed to your thoughts.

Ah, Lord…so do your work in me. Hold my thoughts captive. Tonight give me rest, not just through my will but though your endless power. Your eye is on the sparrow. How much more than do you watch after me.

Amen!

Preparing for Giants

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imageMy husband, Tim has been doing the Children’s Moment in our church once a month since the first of the year. I enjoy being a part of the audience since I never really know what he’s going to do. He’s been known to have some pretty crazy props for his presentations. It’s not good to sit too close to the front because you might get hit by flying objects. Just saying!

Well his topic this week was about the well-known story of “David and Goliath.” Even if you are not versed in the Bible, you probably can recall this one: small boy goes up against a giant and succeeds against all odds. In many respects, it is a tale of an underdog taking on a sure winner. But is it? What moved the odds in David’s favor?

As Tim set the stage for the story, he asked for one of the children to volunteer to be David. Of course, no one volunteered but he convinced a red-headed young man to play the part. David was said to be of ruddy complexion and there are those who think he may have had red hair but no one truly knows. Tim tied a cloth carpenter’s apron around his waist to serve as a shepherd’s pouch. In it was 5 smooth stones like those David would have collected from a stream. He put a shepherd’s staff in his right hand and a make-shift sling/exercise band in his left. He made a great David.

They didn’t practice throwing any stones. Thank goodness! But as Tim dressed our make-believe David, he spoke of how David would have unknowingly prepared for his battle against Goliath every day of his life. He was a shepherd dedicated to protecting his father’s sheep. Sheep are susceptible to many predators. Today coyotes or dogs would be likely predators but in David’s day, he had to ward off bears and lions. At his young age and small size, a sling shot would have been his best weapon. He didn’t have television or video games to entertain him during the boring times alone with the sheep. So he would have practiced his shot over and over until he was an expert marksman. It says in the Bible that he had killed bear and lions with his sling shot so he knew he was capable of downing the 9 foot Goliath. But even so, what gave David the courage to go up against the giant? Everyone else including David’s older brothers were afraid to challenge him and they were seasoned warriors.

David was prepared for giants in another more important way. Even at his young age, he had developed a strong relationship with God. He had studied the writings of Moses. At the prompting of God, he had already been anointed by the prophet Samuel to be the next king. Later in his life, David wrote numerous songs that are recorded in the Book of Psalms. His words reflect his confidence in the Lord. “I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer.” His awe of God is exclaimed when he states, “The heavens declare the glory of God: the skies proclaim the work of His hands.” I can visualize the boy, David, staring up at the night sky as his sheep rest beside him conversing with God. He knew the Lord long before his encounter with Goliath. When the moment came for courage, David acknowledged where his strength originated. He explained to King Saul, “The Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.” When David approached Goliath with only his staff, his sling and 5 smooth stones, the giant taunted him. But David’s response was direct and confident, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will hand you over to me…All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.”

So what giants are looming on your horizon? All of us have them. Even the children listening to Tim’s story have giants they will face: the bully at school, the tough exam, try-outs for the All Stars. As adults, it seems that our personal “Goliaths” are getting bigger every day. Our success against giants will be determined by how well we prepare. Yes, we must study and practice our skills like David with his sling but ultimately our greatest strength will come through our knowledge of God and our conversations with Him. Our relationship with the Lord gives us the confidence to face our giants even if it appears that we are the underdog. Remember, the battle is the Lord’s!

 

Be Strong and Courageous

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imageAs the Independence Day week-end festivities are coming to an end, I am reminded of what it really took to get us where we are today. The old saying “Freedom is never free” is so true. But most of us have never had to fight for our freedom. Do we really understand how strong and courageous the original patriots had to be back in 1776? Their participation in the revolution was treasonous to the British crown. They risked everything for our freedom. If needed, could we, would we do the same? Do we have what it takes to keep our freedom?

Before the Israelites entered the Promised Land, their leader, Joshua faced a similar question. He was commanded by God to be strong and courageous. God said this not once but three times to Joshua. Was Joshua feeling a little unsure of himself at that moment? We don’t know since the Bible doesn’t really tell us but I would imagine he was. Just think about his situation. He had just lost Moses, his mentor of 40 years. He was leading a people not known for their obedience to rules and the company of Israelites who wandered in the desert was huge. A census had been recorded in the Book of Numbers that totalled 601,730 men over 20 years old or more who were able to serve in the army of Israel. This didn’t even count the very young, the very old and any of the females. Joshua’s task would have been like moving the city of Indianapolis over the Jordan River.  How was he to manage them all? God gave him three promises to hold on to each time he commanded him to be strong and courageous.

He first told him, “Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them.” In other words, “You, Joshua, are the man for the job.” He was a born leader, a great military tactician. God was telling Joshua that He was going to carry out His promise through him.

Next God told Joshua, “Be strong and courageous. Be careful to follow and obey the law my servant Moses gave to you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go.” God promised him success in the task set before him if he would follow His word. He told him to “…meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.”

Finally God said, ” Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” God saved the best for last. No matter what, He promised, “I will be with you.”

Fear and discouragement can be mighty deterrents to accomplishing the small as well as the big tasks in life. We may never be asked to risk everything for a cause such as our forefathers almost 240 years ago. However, I believe that we all are given gifts and talents to use for the glory of God. How we choose to use these attributes is up to us. We can bury them in the ground in fear, we can use them in negative or harmful ways or we can use them to help our fellow-man and promote God’s Kingdom here on earth. Stepping out from fear in the little things by showing love and care to those around us prepares us for the bigger tasks God may set before us in the future.

So look to the example of Joshua when a task that seems too big to handle looms before you. Know that you are gifted. Follow God’s Word. Step beyond fear and discouragement. You will be successful. The Lord is with you wherever you go. This is His promise. Be strong and courageous. He is walking beside you and His Spirit resides in you always and forever.

I Am Known

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imageYesterday I did something pretty embarrassing. The women reading this will understand but the guys will just shake their heads in disbelief. On Sunday evening, I failed to move my billfold from the purse I took to church into my work bag. Men would never have this problem since their wallet goes into one place in their pants pocket. But as for women, we have purses to match our outfits and occasions. I don’t have nearly as many as some of my girlfriends. My failure to remember this caused a problem. When I stopped at a gas station to fill my car at lunch time, I had no credit card and no money to pay. Thank goodness I had not put fuel in my car yet! However, I needed fuel since I had enough to get to my afternoon work site but not enough, I feared, to get home. All the husbands who have warned their wives not to let their car get down to empty are shaking their heads now.

So while I was bemoaning my dilemma, a thought came to me. I had my checkbook in my work bag and my bank was just down the road from the gas station. I set off to cash a check. I was praying that the sweet teller I see every time I go to the bank was there since my ID was also back home in my purse. Unfortunately, the only teller at the windows was a young man I had never seen before in the bank. He was new and he told me that the teller I was used to seeing regularly was on vacation. It was obvious that he was not going to cash my check without ID.  So now I’m digging through my bag to find some form of acceptable ID. I was very proud of myself when I pulled out my IU Health badge with my picture on it. He was not satisfied with this. Next I am going through a litany of every fact about myself that no one else would know off the top of their head: birth date, social security number, name of my first-born child. Just kidding on the last one. But at that moment I was desperately trying to make myself known. Finally I could breathe a sigh of relief. He cashed my check and I was on my way back to the gas station. I realize that I could have borrowed some money from one of my co-workers to get enough fuel to get home. But I felt that surely I could take money out of my own account from a bank where I am known.  

Don’t we all, at some point, long to be known? We have a desire to be recognized and acknowledged for who we are. We live in the age of the “selfie.” We put out on social media the persona we wish to portray to our world but who truly knows the real you? My family knows me well enough to call me out if I am not being my “best” self. My husband, Tim knows more details about me than anyone else but in reality, even he doesn’t truly know me. If I am honest, there are parts of me I don’t really know myself, only God knows.

In Psalm 139, King David exclaims, “You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.” This knowing by God is beyond our comprehension. But even more amazing is that He sees us beyond what we are able to see ourselves. Long before David was crowned king, he was anointed by the prophet Samuel to be the next king of Israel. King Saul was still in power and sought to kill David for years. Yet Samuel went to Jesse’s home in Bethlehem as directed by God to anoint the next king. He looked at all 7 of the older son’s but none of them were suitable. When David was called in from the fields where he tended the flocks, Samuel knew he was the one even though he was young and ill equipped to be a ruler. The Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height…the Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” The Lord saw David’s heart and determined that he was the right person to be king. He saw his potential even though it would take years of preparation and running from King Saul for this potential to be recognized by all those around him.

It’s comforting to realize that God knows me as he knew David. No human will ever be able to know me this intimately. The Lord knows my strengths as well as my weaknesses. He knows that at times I will fail to live up to all I can be. But he also knows my potential. He knows the best I can be. He knows my heart.