Category Archives: Purpose

Making a New Thing

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I was so tempted this last week to clean out my flower beds. The sun was shining. The rain had stopped and everything was beginning to bud. But having lived in Indiana my whole life, I knew it was too soon. New growth needs to be protected by the old dead leaves and plants for a time before it is strong enough to survive. I knew the cold would come again before spring was truly sprung. Today the temperatures are in the teens and snow has been falling off and on for the past 2 days. Indiana weather is predictably unpredictable. I’m so glad that I waited.

But when is the right time to pull off the old so that new growth can be revealed? This is the eternal question asked over many facets of life. Is it the right time to leave the old to start something new? Often old and new must co-habit together for a period.The new is protected like the old leaves protecting the tender spring plants. But at some point, the old must be thrown off or it begins to inhibit the new growth rather than protect it. What is hidden is choked off, never revealed, because the old didn’t allow it. Old ways can hide new opportunities. They can consume us, making change impossible.

After much prayer and pondering, I chose to throw off the old to begin something new. I started working at Raphael Health Center in downtown Indianapolis in early February. It is risky business leaving a sure thing for the unknown. But I felt the Lord moving me forward. My time with IU Health was done. I had accomplished the thing I had set out to do. The Wayne and Washington Township clinics are thriving and ready to move up to higher levels with new providers. They have grown so much that it was impossible for me to manage both of them any longer. This provided a good time for me to leave. It’s always difficult, however, to leave the people in a place more than the place itself. I miss my co-workers and the friends I made along the way. My heart is still with them and my hope is to continue those friendships on a different level now.

God was calling me to Raphael Health Center. I have circled around it for years, doing mission work in the city as a volunteer but not really settling in to living my career as a mission. There is a big difference. Now that I am here, I am fully appreciating this. I have never worked long-term with such a challenging population. Their needs are great and their resources are few. Raphael is a beacon of light in their hopelessness. I may be there to provide healthcare but I could see immediately that my main purpose was to give hope. Where there is no hope, there is no healing. One must proceed the other.

If those of us at Raphael can keep our focus on being the light in this present darkness, then much can be accomplished. We do have resources to make a difference as a Federally Qualified Health Center. But it is easy to become overwhelmed by the vastness of the challenge. Help is offered but it is often not embraced for many reasons: lack of knowledge, transportation issues, cultural and language barriers, addictions, joblessness, disabilities. The list of roadblocks to healthier living is endless. Steadily, slowly, we are changing the neighborhood, one person at a time. In the process, we are being changed into image bearers.  We bear the hope and healing given by the Great Physician.

I can see now that the Lord has been molding me for this work for years but I have resisted. He has and is in the process of making me into the person He created me to be. But the old must be thrown off like dead leaves in a spring garden so the new may burst forth.

“See, I am making a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”  Isaiah 43:19

 

Breathe

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imageI started reading “Ecclesiastes” this morning. I am making my way slowly through the Bible, one chapter at a time. Here I am at this odd book probably written by King Solomon in his old age. It seems a work of a grumpy old man bemoaning his life. “Meaningless, meaningless. Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless…a chasing after the wind.” Some versions use the word “vanity” instead of meaningless. Vanity insinuates that the chasing was for Solomon’s own gain and this has been found to be meaningless.

Day in and day out the mundane occurrences can seem meaningless. Yet, God knows how many hairs are on my head. He saw me in the womb before I was born. He bottles my tears. If all is meaningless, why bother with us, Lord? Perhaps in reality, everything is meaningful. What if all of life had purpose and meaning even the most mundane?

I admit to not taking my days seriously. What did I do yesterday that was meaningful? Seemed like a chasing after the wind that cannot be caught. Trying to find papers that were dropped off at the clinic but they are nowhere to be found. Trying to juggle work and home. Tomatoes growing out of my ears! Perhaps it is the chasing that is meaningless. If I slow down to enjoy each moment, then I find meaning. The world will not end if the papers are never found. It will not end if my garden has weeds, the house is unkempt and all the tomatoes don’t get used.

Stop…just a moment to breathe. Breathe in the Spirit of my Creator who created me for meaning. Stop chasing and just be present. It’s difficult because the craziness of life does not end. I am not going to have a vacation from it just now. I am in a season of busyness and I need to keep moving forward. But I don’t have to attach significance to things that don’t really matter. Breathe. Enjoy the beauty of the sunrise. Revel in the laugh of a child. Embrace the ones I love. Breathe. Meaning is in every moment but meaning gets attached to the wrong things.

Breathe

Angels Watching Over Me

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I have great respect for the power of lightning. This last week a huge wild cherry tree in our imagebackyard was struck by lightning, breaking off a large branch and peeling off the bark. We had no harm to the house but the invisible fence transmitter for our dogs was destroyed, flying off the wall of the garage at least 10 feet. Thankfully, this did not start a fire in the garage. We were very lucky. The damage could have been much worse.

Several years ago, when we lived in Zionsville, our house was struck by lightning. It hit with a terrible boom just around midnight. I looked all around the house for damage or possible fire but could find nothing so I went to bed. My habit every morning was to shower before waking the kids and going downstairs for breakfast. For some reason, that morning I did not. I went downstairs first. When I entered the kitchen, I heard a noise that was unusual. This was a sound I had heard before in a hospital. It was like oxygen coming out of a cylinder with the valve opened completely. I could tell that It was coming from the basement. As I opened the door, the smell of gas was overwhelming. I knew immediately that we were in great danger. I quickly woke Rozie and Garrett. Anna was not at home that night. We walked down to my sister’s house in our PJ’s. I didn’t dare open the garage door or start the car for fear that I would ignite the gas in the basement. There had to be a huge leak for me to hear it. If I had been thinking more clearly, I would have turned off the power to the house which was just next to the door of the garage. But my first thoughts were just on getting out of the house to safety. I called the gas company from Beth’s  and they came immediately. Thankfully, I was able to dress in some of Beth’s clothes to meet the gas guy in something other than my pajamas. As we walked up the drive to the house, his gas detector began to make clicking noises. He remained calm but I could tell he was quite concerned. “Where is your power shut-off?” he asked. “It is usually with your fuse box.” He quickly flipped the power switch off and turned the gas off at the main line outdoors. We were not to go in the house all day even to open windows until the gas had time to dissipate. When a repairman was able to investigate, he found that the lightning had made hundreds of small holes the size of penny nails in the gas line entering the house. The gas was filling our basement all night as we slept. If even the gas water heater had kicked on, the house would have blown up. We were sleeping on a bomb.

The power of lightning is phenomenal. We had many items damaged by it that night including the computer board in our furnace, TV’s and computers. They were not preserved even with surge protectors. But our lives were preserved. We could have easily all died. Why didn’t I shower first that morning? Why did I go to the kitchen first so I heard the gas leak? I believe the Lord was with us. His angels were watching over us, prompting me to change my normal daily habits. I don’t understand the “why” of it all but Garrett said it best, “Mom, I guess God has more for us to do.” Yes, son, he does.

“Though the Lord is on high, he looks upon the lowly but the proud he knows from afar. Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, with your right hand, you save me. The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me. Your love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not abandon the works of your hands.”           Psalm 138:6-8

I praise the Lord. By his grace, I live and have my being. May he fulfill his purposes through me and my children, now and forever.

 

 

Putting on the Armor

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imageLast week at our Women’s Bible Study, we spoke of putting on the Armor of God. The author of our study, Chip Ingram, emphasized that there is no formula as some would propose, but wearing the Armor of God is a lifestyle. I agree with this wholeheartedly. There must be a regularity of purpose to stay clothed in the armor. To me this means reading my Bible daily and writing in my journal. It means praying throughout the day. It means worshiping and studying God’s Word together with other believers. We lift each other up.

The Wednesday evening Men’s and Women’s Bible Studies are powerful. We don’t realize how powerful we are with God in us. Putting on the Armor of God is like a soldier putting on every piece of protective equipment. It is purposeful and deliberate. To forget any piece, would leave the soldier vulnerable and in danger.

Life is full of temptation. It’s often not the “big” temptations that are stumbling blocks but the “little” ones. As I read the passage from the letter to the Galatians, this past Sunday, about the fruit of the Spirit, this was very apparent. Paul wrote of the sinful nature before he listed the fruit of the spiritual nature. He began with sexual impurity but included such things as hatred, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition and envy. Who hasn’t succumbed to many of these? Pastor Carol said our job is to stay attached to the vine (Jesus) and not to judge other branches. That is God’s job, not ours. By staying attached, we produce Spiritual fruit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-control. I’m glad self-control is on the list because this is often forgotten. The Armor of God protects us from the schemes of the devil often by giving us self-control. It is a power from within that is greater than we could muster on our own. The control within to say “no” when temptation in any form comes our way, is from God. I am not perfect by any means. Do I get angry? Do I envy? Every day I can fall prey to these sins. But God’s Spirit is working in me to change the old nature to a new, perfect nature. But I must stay attached to His power. I can do nothing but fail without Him. I do not have the strength within me for Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-control. This fruit falls out of my reach. But God gives all these and more as a gift. If I desire His gifts with all my heart, they are mine.

Lord, help me to live out this Truth. Hold me close to You. Wrap Your loving arms around me and protect me as I go through my day. Put Your Spirit in me. I am Your child. Help me act like a daughter of the King!

Finishing Well

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imageAs I am writing this morning, it is bitterly cold outside: zero degrees with a wind chill of -16. Tim gets to stay snuggled in bed since he is off work today for MLK’s birthday but I must trudge out in this most unwelcome season of Indiana weather. My thoughts can’t help but long for early February when we will be traveling down to southeastern Alabama for my son, Garrett’s, graduation from flight school. I’m sure it won’t be hot there but it will definitely be a lot warmer than here. My dreams today are in the south, two weeks in the future. This has a way of affecting my presence in the now.

Just yesterday, I stood in front of our church as liturgist and stated, “This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.” I said it with conviction. I think I was trying to convince myself and all the others who had braved the cold of the truth of this statement. This is the day to rejoice, not tomorrow or next year or 10 years from now when we reach whatever we seek that will bring us “the good life.” Isn’t it the American Way to grasp hold of our right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness? We look anxiously forward to the next level, forgetting to stay present where we are and finding joy in what is now.

Granted, there are special events that it is only right to look forward to in anticipation. I’m excited to see Garrett graduate. He has invested 18 mo. of his life learning to fly helicopters. This is a huge accomplishment that must be celebrated. Great deeds begin with the setting of a goal and persisting until they are finished. But if our focus is too much on the future then we lose the enjoyment to be found in each moment. There is a tension between the two views that pull against each other. I find myself often struggling to find balance.

As I am moving past mid-life, I can look back and say that I have been fortunate to be able to accomplish many of my dream goals. I set my mind long ago to get my medical degree so that I could care for others. This has been my vocation now for over 30 years. I prayed to raise my children to adulthood and they are now each successful in their own lives. Now I get to watch them continue to grow and change into the beautiful people they are now and are becoming in the future. These are two big goals that have impacted everything else in my life. I fully understand how blessed I am.

But what of future goals? Am I over the hill, on the downward slide? Oh, I hope not! I pray that God has much more in store for me. My goal now is to retire, in the not too distant future, healthy with little or no debt, if possible. This is a little bit selfish but it also isn’t. I want to be in good enough shape to give away medical care and have more time for mission work here and abroad. I want to make writing a priority because I get the sense that God wants me to share my thoughts. But most of all, I want to not be so busy with “work” that I don’t have time for the grandchildren that I hope to have someday.

Only God knows what lies ahead. These are my dreams. God may have a much different plan. Overall, I want to run the race of life and end it well, no matter what situations, good or bad, are coming my way. So many of the kings of Israel and Judah started out well but ended badly. Often it was pride that tripped them up. They chose to depend upon themselves or other idols rather than God. Their dreams took precedence over God’s plan.

So in everything, we must weigh whatever we do in reference to it’s value in God’s eyes. Am I building His kingdom here on earth or tearing it down? Are my thoughts set on Him or some earthly desire? What lies ahead in His heavenly kingdom is greater than anything we could dream of here. But that doesn’t mean that we ignore needs here because we’re looking toward heaven. In the Lord’s Prayer, I pray every Sunday, “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” Building HIs kingdom here should be the foundational goal of everything we do, little or big. Is it? Or are we chasing after the fleeting happiness this world offers? If I am honest, the answer is both.

Lord, open my mind to truly grasp the motivation behind my goals. Help me in the day to day struggles to keep my thoughts focused on Your will in the midst of chaos and confusion. Though I am tested every step of the way, let me always, in everything, be a builder of your kingdom here on earth through love and compassion. But more than anything, let me find joy and gratitude in every day I have been given. When my race is over, take me home to rest with You.

Be Strong and Courageous

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imageAs the Independence Day week-end festivities are coming to an end, I am reminded of what it really took to get us where we are today. The old saying “Freedom is never free” is so true. But most of us have never had to fight for our freedom. Do we really understand how strong and courageous the original patriots had to be back in 1776? Their participation in the revolution was treasonous to the British crown. They risked everything for our freedom. If needed, could we, would we do the same? Do we have what it takes to keep our freedom?

Before the Israelites entered the Promised Land, their leader, Joshua faced a similar question. He was commanded by God to be strong and courageous. God said this not once but three times to Joshua. Was Joshua feeling a little unsure of himself at that moment? We don’t know since the Bible doesn’t really tell us but I would imagine he was. Just think about his situation. He had just lost Moses, his mentor of 40 years. He was leading a people not known for their obedience to rules and the company of Israelites who wandered in the desert was huge. A census had been recorded in the Book of Numbers that totalled 601,730 men over 20 years old or more who were able to serve in the army of Israel. This didn’t even count the very young, the very old and any of the females. Joshua’s task would have been like moving the city of Indianapolis over the Jordan River.  How was he to manage them all? God gave him three promises to hold on to each time he commanded him to be strong and courageous.

He first told him, “Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them.” In other words, “You, Joshua, are the man for the job.” He was a born leader, a great military tactician. God was telling Joshua that He was going to carry out His promise through him.

Next God told Joshua, “Be strong and courageous. Be careful to follow and obey the law my servant Moses gave to you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go.” God promised him success in the task set before him if he would follow His word. He told him to “…meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.”

Finally God said, ” Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” God saved the best for last. No matter what, He promised, “I will be with you.”

Fear and discouragement can be mighty deterrents to accomplishing the small as well as the big tasks in life. We may never be asked to risk everything for a cause such as our forefathers almost 240 years ago. However, I believe that we all are given gifts and talents to use for the glory of God. How we choose to use these attributes is up to us. We can bury them in the ground in fear, we can use them in negative or harmful ways or we can use them to help our fellow-man and promote God’s Kingdom here on earth. Stepping out from fear in the little things by showing love and care to those around us prepares us for the bigger tasks God may set before us in the future.

So look to the example of Joshua when a task that seems too big to handle looms before you. Know that you are gifted. Follow God’s Word. Step beyond fear and discouragement. You will be successful. The Lord is with you wherever you go. This is His promise. Be strong and courageous. He is walking beside you and His Spirit resides in you always and forever.

Accepting the Journey

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imageTim and I returned from a week-end getaway to Shaker Village in Kentucky earlier today. We enjoy these brief but cherished respites from the daily routine. However, it’s often that I hear Tim say, no matter where we go that he enjoys the destination but hates the journey to and from.  Just as often, I will say in response that the journey is just as important as the destination. I firmly believe this on many levels.

The scenery, no matter where you are travelling, is interesting in and of itself. Beauty is all around us, even from a car window speeding down the highway. Though I generally deplore the hassle of flying from a large airport, I am still thrilled every time the jet lifts up above the clouds into the sunshine above.  There is just something about this that always makes me anticipate it.  It’s like being a child seeing the world from this perspective for the first time.  It never grows old for me. 

Whatever mode of transportation, we are a captive audience with those travelling along with us.  This can be misery or it can be opportunity.  We are able to take the time for a conversation that the busyness of everyday life doesn’t allow.  Remember as children the endless games we played in the car while on long trips or the many songs we sang?  These activities bound us together as family.  We either drove our parents crazy or they joined in with the fun.  It was all a part of the trip.

If all we can think of is, “Are we there yet?” we will have missed out on a crucial insight.  In this earthy life, the destination is generally a small segment. The journey takes the most time and we overlook its benefits if we aren’t careful.  It may seem boring or difficult but, on a deeper level, the journey is what makes us who we are. If it takes time to reach our goals, then we learn patience and perseverance.  If our path is rocky and treacherous, we become strong and resourceful.   If we experience failure along the way, we become humble but also learn what it is to never quit. Knowledge and wisdom are gained in the journey, not the destination.  Reaching a pinnacle is not nearly as sweet if the ascent is a short and easy hike.  It’s only in the struggle, that we appreciate the prize at the end of the race.

The apostle Paul often uses the analogy of a runner in a race to depict a life of faith. “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”  If heaven is our dreamed of destination, then life is our journey.  Yes, we learn in the struggle but we also experience joy as we move through the beauty of life.  We see glimpses of heaven along the way to urge us on. Each spectacular sunset, every melodious bird song in spring, every smile and tender embrace we experience, motivates us toward the prize before us. These are pieces of heaven.

Be that as it may, the journey is a mixture of good and bad, blessings and struggles. Accepting it all for what it is, may be the entire point. Live life fully without reservation. Run the race with gusto with your eye on the prize. But never forget to enjoy the view along the way. 

 

 

What’s In a Name?

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Tim and I are still trying to decide what to name our new cats who have taken up residence in Tim’s workshop.  The mama cat has stayed hidden but the two kittens are very friendly.  I’ll be home today and plan to go play with them awhile.  Maybe names will come to mind when I see their personalities in action.

What’s in a name? Was Shakespeare’s Juliet correct when she said to Romeo, “That which we call a rose, by any other name, would smell as sweet” ?  Do names actually matter and does the name given to you by your parents reflect who you really are?

I have found that choosing names can be quite difficult for our pets but especially for our children.  They have to live with these names the rest of their lives. Because of this, we never fully decided on names for each of our children until after we saw them for the first time. We had possibilities but nothing set in stone.

Anna arrived with wild ash blond hair and bright eyes.  She was named after two of her great, great, great grandmothers.  Both of them were strong-willed and resilient women. Anna means grace. Our Anna has always been compassionate and tender especially with babies and animals.  Many of our animals have been acquired through her.  She seems to be a magnet for stray dogs and has a heart to save them all.

Next came Rozie with long dark hair that would stand up no matter what I did to hold it down.  Her lips were like a little rose bud.  Rosalind means beautiful rose. She is always poised and confident in everything she does.  Her namesake was my Grandmother, Rose Alta.  She would have never forgiven us if we had given her “Alta” as a middle name so we dropped that part. My beautiful rose was a lovely bride this spring.  Appropriately, she carried red roses in her bouquet.

Now Garrett was the one most difficult to name.  Dan and I just couldn’t agree before he was born on a name we both liked.  We knew he was a boy so at least we didn’t need to discuss girl’s names.  Dan wanted to name him after his favorite uncle Oscar!  That was not going to happen!  Garrett decided to come a little early and happened to be born near Dan’s brother Gary’s birthday.  Gary and Dan had been very close.  He had died in an automobile accident while he was still in high school.  When we saw Garrett with his broad shoulders and husky little body, we knew we had to name him after Gary.  But we didn’t want exactly the same name so we chose Garrett.  It means a strong fortress.  It really fits him now as a soldier and protector.  Did the name fit who he was already or did he grow into the name?

The Bible says in Revelation 2:17, that someday Jesus will give us new names only known by us.  Perhaps they will be pet-names or nicknames.  Will they describe just who we are and who we are meant to be? I think the latter.  When Jesus saw Peter, he called him “the Rock.”  He certainly wasn’t a rock then but he became one.  He was the rock that became the foundation of the early church.  Jesus knew that Peter would deny Him but He also knew that Peter would overcome and become a great leader.

Jesus knows the best we can be and the name he gives us will reflect that.  He encourages us to be that best person in our own way, using our God-given gifts and personality for His glory.  Just as each of my children uniquely reflect their earthly names, in Heaven they will be given new names that perfectly fit the beautiful people that they have become.  Lord, let them grow and mature through Your loving kindness into the names you will give them in eternity.

 

Measuring in Moments

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TGIF!  It’s Friday morning as I write this and I am happy for the week-end to come. On Sunday, I leave with the Sheridan United Methodist Youth Group for Henderson Settlement in Kentucky on a mission trip. This is my first trip with this particular group but I have participated in numerous mission trips with varying goals over the years.  Often people will ask me how my vacation went when I return from a mission trip.  Many times I’m more fatigued when I come back to work than when I left.  This was especially true after two trips to Haiti.  Those medical missions were both physically and emotionally taxing. Yet they were amazing. So much can occur in one short week!

That’s the crazy thing about time.  It’s always the same 24 hr. day but depending on your perspective, it can seem faster or slower.  Every day on a mission trip is eventful. It seems to be somehow fuller than an ordinary day. Maybe we are living temporarily on God’s time, not human time.  When our clock is set on eternity, we don’t mark off time by night and day but by events.  Each day is endless and full to the max in a good kind of way.  We’re in a constant present tense.  There is no longing for the past or the future; no regret for what has been or fear of what is to come.  We are content to be in the forever “now.”  We rarely live this way on earth but we should.

Eternal perspective sees life as a continuum.  It doesn’t stop with day or night, with birth or death.  It stretches on but yet it’s not linear.  God sees all of time all at once.  This is why He knows what we will do in the future and what events will transpire.  In his book, “Mere Christianity,” CS Lewis discusses our confusion over God’s time. “The difficulty comes from thinking that God is progressing along the Time-line like us: the only difference is that He can see ahead and we cannot. Well if that were true, if God foresaw our acts, it would be very hard to understand how we could be free not to do them. But suppose God is outside and above the Time-line. In that case, what we call ‘tomorrow’ is visible to Him in just the same way as what we call ‘today’.  All the days are NOW for Him. He does not remember you doing things yesterday; He simply sees you doing them…He does not ‘foresee’ you doing things tomorrow; He simply sees you doing them: because though tomorrow is not yet there for you, it is for Him.”

I doubt humans will ever be able to see time this way, but just as we won’t be bound by sin and death in heaven, we won’t be bound by time.  We will have more than enough time to do everything we want to do and to become the person we were always meant to be.  We won’t have to worry about having to stop because the day is coming to an end because it won’t.  There will be no night. The brilliance of God will illuminate everything.  Even better, our relationships will go on forever.  We won’t be separated any longer from those we love by death or distance.  The time we were apart on earth will seem like just an overnight away compared to the time we will have to love and be loved by our family and friends in eternity.

We get a glimpse of eternity when we live in the now.  Our earthy lives by design are momentary and predictable. Night always follows day and death always follows birth.  But to live for those we serve today without thought for our own agenda, is really how we should live.  This is heaven on earth.  Time set aside from a busy, scheduled life to go on a mission trip is a holy activity.  It may be only a week, but in the scheme of things, it’s much bigger.  The time spent caring for others is measured in moments, not minutes.  If only for a week, we step out of earthy time into God’s time.  Someday we will live this way forever.

As much as possible, live each day wisely, fully and gratefully.  Grateful not just for what we’ve been given but grateful for what we are able to give. In this way, we establish the Kingdom of Heaven in the here and now, not just in the future.