Yesterday the news was full of the violence in Dallas. Five police officers and 2 others in the crowd of demonstrators are dead and many others injured. The crowd was peacefully demonstrating against the shooting of 2 black men in Minnesota and Baton Rouge when the violence began. The shooter took aim above them all, particularly picking out white police officers to target. Later he was killed by a robotic bomb to stop his tirade.

Violence always begets violence. Violence never leads to peace-not real peace. Real peace is only achieved through forgiveness and reconciliation. When we seek to understand people who are different from ourselves rather than fear or hate them, this is the first step to peaceful existence.

I guess I am just strange because I have always enjoyed meeting people who were different from myself. I have learned so much from conversations with them. My private practice before starting with IU Health was very diverse. I had patients of every race, numerous faiths and people from all over the world: Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, Filipino, Cambodian, Russian, Romanian, Nigerian, Liberian, Polish, French, English, Colombian, Haitian.  The list goes on and on. I had a number of patients from the LGTB community too. I wanted everyone to feel welcome and cared for regardless of color, culture or lifestyle.

Early in my practice, I mourned the death of 2 of these patients from HIV/AIDS. We didn’t know much in the late 80’s of how to control this disease. At that time, it was a death sentence for anyone who acquired it . Thank goodness, research has helped millions to live with the HIV virus now. I will never forget one of these patients, Roger, a gay, Black man, as he was dying from the complications of AIDS. He had such a kind, gentle spirit throughout tremendous suffering. At one time, he had sores over his whole body from the disease. His sister was his caregiver but he had never told her that he was gay or that he was HIV positive. I encouraged him to confide in her and he finally did shortly before he passed away. She told me one day outside of his hospital room that she had already sensed the truth. She said Roger always made her wear gloves and took great precautions when she changed the dressings on his wounds. He was always protective of her. Knowing the truth did not change how she felt for her brother. Love does not change, no matter the circumstance. My eyes tear up as I write this because it was beautiful to witness such love and courage.

People, love crosses all boundaries. When we take the time to look beyond externals, beyond skin color and labels, we see real people who are much like ourselves. We may not agree with each other on many issues but we can enjoy each other on our common ground, if we are willing. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. Love never fails. Love wins.

Be willing to reach out to someone who is different from yourself. Listen to them. Try to understand who they are. Agree to disagree in areas that can’t be reconciled. If each of us did this with even one or two people in our part of the world, the effect would be staggering.

None of us directly caused the shootings in Dallas, Minnesota or Baton Rouge. But each of us is accountable for the present culture of violence we live in. When we stay in our own comfortable group of people who are just like us, we promote division. This holds true for everyone: Black, White, Hispanic, every culture, creed and lifestyle. We all tend to stay in our own groups. We must purposefully cross racial and cultural lines. We must get to know each other in personal ways. This is the way love spreads, one person at a time, one relationship at a time.

This is my challenge and your challenge. This is my hope.