As I am writing this morning, it is bitterly cold outside: zero degrees with a wind chill of -16. Tim gets to stay snuggled in bed since he is off work today for MLK’s birthday but I must trudge out in this most unwelcome season of Indiana weather. My thoughts can’t help but long for early February when we will be traveling down to southeastern Alabama for my son, Garrett’s, graduation from flight school. I’m sure it won’t be hot there but it will definitely be a lot warmer than here. My dreams today are in the south, two weeks in the future. This has a way of affecting my presence in the now.

Just yesterday, I stood in front of our church as liturgist and stated, “This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.” I said it with conviction. I think I was trying to convince myself and all the others who had braved the cold of the truth of this statement. This is the day to rejoice, not tomorrow or next year or 10 years from now when we reach whatever we seek that will bring us “the good life.” Isn’t it the American Way to grasp hold of our right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness? We look anxiously forward to the next level, forgetting to stay present where we are and finding joy in what is now.

Granted, there are special events that it is only right to look forward to in anticipation. I’m excited to see Garrett graduate. He has invested 18 mo. of his life learning to fly helicopters. This is a huge accomplishment that must be celebrated. Great deeds begin with the setting of a goal and persisting until they are finished. But if our focus is too much on the future then we lose the enjoyment to be found in each moment. There is a tension between the two views that pull against each other. I find myself often struggling to find balance.

As I am moving past mid-life, I can look back and say that I have been fortunate to be able to accomplish many of my dream goals. I set my mind long ago to get my medical degree so that I could care for others. This has been my vocation now for over 30 years. I prayed to raise my children to adulthood and they are now each successful in their own lives. Now I get to watch them continue to grow and change into the beautiful people they are now and are becoming in the future. These are two big goals that have impacted everything else in my life. I fully understand how blessed I am.

But what of future goals? Am I over the hill, on the downward slide? Oh, I hope not! I pray that God has much more in store for me. My goal now is to retire, in the not too distant future, healthy with little or no debt, if possible. This is a little bit selfish but it also isn’t. I want to be in good enough shape to give away medical care and have more time for mission work here and abroad. I want to make writing a priority because I get the sense that God wants me to share my thoughts. But most of all, I want to not be so busy with “work” that I don’t have time for the grandchildren that I hope to have someday.

Only God knows what lies ahead. These are my dreams. God may have a much different plan. Overall, I want to run the race of life and end it well, no matter what situations, good or bad, are coming my way. So many of the kings of Israel and Judah started out well but ended badly. Often it was pride that tripped them up. They chose to depend upon themselves or other idols rather than God. Their dreams took precedence over God’s plan.

So in everything, we must weigh whatever we do in reference to it’s value in God’s eyes. Am I building His kingdom here on earth or tearing it down? Are my thoughts set on Him or some earthly desire? What lies ahead in His heavenly kingdom is greater than anything we could dream of here. But that doesn’t mean that we ignore needs here because we’re looking toward heaven. In the Lord’s Prayer, I pray every Sunday, “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” Building HIs kingdom here should be the foundational goal of everything we do, little or big. Is it? Or are we chasing after the fleeting happiness this world offers? If I am honest, the answer is both.

Lord, open my mind to truly grasp the motivation behind my goals. Help me in the day to day struggles to keep my thoughts focused on Your will in the midst of chaos and confusion. Though I am tested every step of the way, let me always, in everything, be a builder of your kingdom here on earth through love and compassion. But more than anything, let me find joy and gratitude in every day I have been given. When my race is over, take me home to rest with You.