Hidden in Plain Sight

I slept well last night, thank goodness! I wrote yesterday about worry and how it keeps me awake sometimes. It was probably one of the most open posts that I have written. It’s a little scary to put out on the web to all my friends (and friends of friends) that I have a problem with anxiety. In reality, I’m sure they already know this. To write openly about my struggles and how I feel, is good for me and I hope, good for others. Not in a whiny, “Oh, woe is me” kind of way, but showing how the Lord helps me deal with the trials of life day by day. Sometimes I don’t think I realize how much He helps me even in the little things.

As I was getting my post ready to publish yesterday, God interrupted my day to get my attention. I was scanning through my phone looking for a photo that would be appropriate for my post. The title was “More Than a Sparrow” so I wanted a picture of a sparrow as an illustration. I always try to use one of my own photos if possible. I had pictures of other birds but no sparrows. I was sitting at my desk, looking down at my phone, when a bird hit my window. It was a sparrow! The bird was not hurt. It proceeded to light on a nearby branch between my window and the pond behind the clinic just long enough for me to take a picture. The photo was beautiful. It was framed by green foliage with the bird silhouetted against the pond. Even through the cloudy window of my office, it turned out to be a great photo, better than I had imagined!

Just at the right moment, a sparrow appeared to pose for just the right photo. Wow! God, you are something! Were Your angels having fun with me yesterday? It’s like You’re saying, “I’m here, silly. Don’t you see me? I’m hidden in plain sight.” If God cares enough about me to send me a sparrow to photograph, how much more will He do for me and with me for the rest of my life? It’s humbling and mind-boggling at the same time.

There will be those who will say that this was just a coincidence but I don’t believe this for a minute. There are things that happen that are too much to be just random occurences. I’ve written in my blogs before about having eyes to see and ears to hear God all around us. But sometimes our hearts are so hard toward God, we don’t see the evidence of His existence. We can’t see it because we refuse to see. We put blinders over our eyes and plugs in our ears to keep God out. We lock Him out of our hearts.

I love the picture of Jesus knocking on a door. It’s a classic in religious art. The artist skillfully left off the door handle because the door must be opened from the inside. A heart must be open for Jesus to enter. He knocks on the door of our hearts, sometimes with a sparrow that appears miraculously at just the right time. All we have to do is open the door to greet the One who was there all along waiting for us to see Him hidden in plain sight.

I am notoriously a poor sleeper. I’ve often said that being on call for so many years and having to jump out of bed to go deliver a baby, ruined my sleep pattern forever. But I think it is more than just that. Sometimes my mind stays active and I just cannot turn off my thoughts long enough to go to sleep. I know many people who have this same problem. I realize that this is anxiety but it’s difficult to just relax and let go of the worries of the day. The more I try, the more the thoughts circle in my head. I pray to not worry and I am better for a time, then I have another night like last night with no sleep again.

I know that Jesus said to not worry about anything. The Father takes care of even the sparrows. But Lord, you gave me a mind that thinks much more than the sparrow. It ruminates on every bad thing that has happened and magnifies what might happen in the future. Memory can be used in helpful as well as hurtful ways. If I chose to remember all that God has done for me, then I am grateful. If I chose to recall how the Lord has walked with me through the valley of the shadow of death but also along good, fruitful paths, I am comforted and confident in the future. But if I focus on the negative in my life, the circle of worry begins again.

This ability to remember and reason are solely human traits. Some animals can do this but only in very rudimentary, basic ways. The human mind is an amazing organ, better than any computer invented. If such a computer was ever made that performed up to the mind’s standard, it would be done only because God gave us the mind to do it and instilled in us His creative force. The mind is powerful but yet it can also torment us and hold us down with fear and remorse. Animals can fear but we humans take fear to a new level by fearing things we have never experienced and likely never will. We are able to extrapolate the tragedies that have befallen others as if they have happened to us. This is empathy and is an offshoot of compassion but taken to an extreme, it can be debilitating. Our information age with news reports 24/7 can promote anxiety and fear if we fail to turn it off.

Using our mind as a transformational tool is the key. Our mind controls our habits. Any good or bad habit is formed in the mind first. Change your thoughts and your actions will naturally follow. The Apostle Paul encouraged his readers, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Through human will and God’s power, this can happen. I have seen amazing things occur when will and power move in concert with each other. Those who have gone through the 12 steps of AA can attest to this. Transform the mind and actions will be conformed to your thoughts.

Ah, Lord…so do your work in me. Hold my thoughts captive. Tonight give me rest, not just through my will but though your endless power. Your eye is on the sparrow. How much more than do you watch after me.

Amen!