Yesterday I did something pretty embarrassing. The women reading this will understand but the guys will just shake their heads in disbelief. On Sunday evening, I failed to move my billfold from the purse I took to church into my work bag. Men would never have this problem since their wallet goes into one place in their pants pocket. But as for women, we have purses to match our outfits and occasions. I don’t have nearly as many as some of my girlfriends. My failure to remember this caused a problem. When I stopped at a gas station to fill my car at lunch time, I had no credit card and no money to pay. Thank goodness I had not put fuel in my car yet! However, I needed fuel since I had enough to get to my afternoon work site but not enough, I feared, to get home. All the husbands who have warned their wives not to let their car get down to empty are shaking their heads now.

So while I was bemoaning my dilemma, a thought came to me. I had my checkbook in my work bag and my bank was just down the road from the gas station. I set off to cash a check. I was praying that the sweet teller I see every time I go to the bank was there since my ID was also back home in my purse. Unfortunately, the only teller at the windows was a young man I had never seen before in the bank. He was new and he told me that the teller I was used to seeing regularly was on vacation. It was obvious that he was not going to cash my check without ID.  So now I’m digging through my bag to find some form of acceptable ID. I was very proud of myself when I pulled out my IU Health badge with my picture on it. He was not satisfied with this. Next I am going through a litany of every fact about myself that no one else would know off the top of their head: birth date, social security number, name of my first-born child. Just kidding on the last one. But at that moment I was desperately trying to make myself known. Finally I could breathe a sigh of relief. He cashed my check and I was on my way back to the gas station. I realize that I could have borrowed some money from one of my co-workers to get enough fuel to get home. But I felt that surely I could take money out of my own account from a bank where I am known.  

Don’t we all, at some point, long to be known? We have a desire to be recognized and acknowledged for who we are. We live in the age of the “selfie.” We put out on social media the persona we wish to portray to our world but who truly knows the real you? My family knows me well enough to call me out if I am not being my “best” self. My husband, Tim knows more details about me than anyone else but in reality, even he doesn’t truly know me. If I am honest, there are parts of me I don’t really know myself, only God knows.

In Psalm 139, King David exclaims, “You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.” This knowing by God is beyond our comprehension. But even more amazing is that He sees us beyond what we are able to see ourselves. Long before David was crowned king, he was anointed by the prophet Samuel to be the next king of Israel. King Saul was still in power and sought to kill David for years. Yet Samuel went to Jesse’s home in Bethlehem as directed by God to anoint the next king. He looked at all 7 of the older son’s but none of them were suitable. When David was called in from the fields where he tended the flocks, Samuel knew he was the one even though he was young and ill equipped to be a ruler. The Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height…the Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” The Lord saw David’s heart and determined that he was the right person to be king. He saw his potential even though it would take years of preparation and running from King Saul for this potential to be recognized by all those around him.

It’s comforting to realize that God knows me as he knew David. No human will ever be able to know me this intimately. The Lord knows my strengths as well as my weaknesses. He knows that at times I will fail to live up to all I can be. But he also knows my potential. He knows the best I can be. He knows my heart.