So much of western culture is “me” oriented. We have manuals to boost our self-esteem, to promote self-actualization and to bolster our self-confidence. We are convinced by shrewd advertising that “I’m worth it.” We buy into this thinking and enthrone ourselves as our own gods. When we make ourselves into gods however, we cannot allow the rightful King to rule our lives. Jesus told his disciples, ” If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” This is not an easy task. Self-denial is certainly counter to the culture in which we live. How do we remain self-confident in what we do here in this world yet die to self? What if rather than seeking self-confidence, we are “God-confident”? What would this look like?
Instead of being solely dependent on our own abilities, we would depend on God working through us. Our focus would be outward, not inward; looking out for others, not ourselves. We would not be doormats though because we would stand for what is right. Jesus was certainly not a doormat as He stood His ground with the religious leaders of His day. Our leadership would be enabling and encouraging others to be all they can be. We would not worry about material things but would be confident that God would provide what we needed. This would free us to take risks for good. We would be creative beyond our own ideas because we could be open to the creative energy of God flowing through us. We would be co-creators with God. I believe this is really what He desires. He doesn’t want us to be puppets who only can act when manipulated. But He wants us to work side-by-side with Him: co-workers entrusted with the stewardship of the earth and its contents.
Overall we’ve done a pretty poor job with being good stewards but there are high points interspersed throughout history that give us hope. A few of these include the discovery of the polio vaccine and penicillin that opened the door for other medications that changed our world, the fall of the Berlin Wall leading to the disintegration of the Iron Curtain , the end of Apartheid in South Africa through forgiveness and reconciliation , the abolition of slavery in the US and the subsequent Civil Rights Movement. All these accomplishments were gained through self-sacrifice and sometimes martyrdom for a greater good.
Each of us are given talents or gifts to use wisely as stewards of what God has entrusted to us. In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus tells a parable about a man going on a journey who left property in the care of three servants. He gave to one 5 talents (each talent was worth more than 15 years’ wages of a laborer), to another two, to another one, each according to his ability. When the man returned from his journey, the first two servants had doubled the money entrusted to them but the third servant buried his talent in the ground. The only servant who was chastised was the one who did nothing with what was given to him.
We all have different talents given to us according to our ability. No one is exempt. Medicine and writing are the two talents given to me that I am aware of. Maybe there are more that I have buried deep inside myself that I have never used. Both of my talents are God-enhanced especially my writing. I don’t know what I will write for my next blog post until I write it. There is no plan, it just comes to me at the right moment. This is not me but God. He puts the ideas in my heart and I put them on paper. We are co-creators and through this process I feel closer to God than ever before. But I haven’t relinquished all of myself to God yet. Little by little, layer by layer, resistance falls away. It’s like an onion being peeled. When I let go of external pressures and open myself to God, I then understand the joy and peace Paul speaks of in the letter to the Philippians. But when I grasp onto myself and my needs again, then worry overwhelms me. I move back and forth between dependence on God and dependence on myself. But I can see that bit by bit I am changing. God is patient with me. Like a good parent, He lets me fall to teach me lessons. He doesn’t protect me from life but stands by me through it. I need more than a lifetime to let Him peel the layers of self-protection and self-centeredness away to reveal the person He sees that I can be. I imagine that a good portion of this happens in heaven after I die. It seems that we are all at different stages when we go from here. But eventually He will perfect us. It won’t be by our power but by His. However, we have to allow the transformation. We can’t hold on to being our own god for this to happen. Self-confidence must be converted to God-confidence.
