When we went to Ecuador with the Timmy Foundation (now Timmy Global Health) in 2000 on a medical mission trip, my daughter Rozie wanted to bring a young boy back home with us.  His name was Rene’ and he lived in the orphanage visited by our group during our time in Quito.  On our first work day, I had gone to shadow an Ecuadorean pediatrician at the Tierra Nueva Clinic in the south part of the city and my mom with Garrett and Rozie went to an orphanage run by the Daughters of Charity. This is the same order of Sisters who run St. Vincent Hospital in Indianapolis and this orphanage bore the same name. When we met up that evening for dinner at the retreat center that was our home for the week, the first words the kids said to me were, “Mom, you have to come with us tomorrow to the orphanage.  All the kids are sick!”  With a little rearranging of schedules, I was able to go with them the next day.  Our group was working with a classroom of 6 and 7 year olds.  Several of them were ill with coughs and more than a few had scabies.  We had brought with us a large collection of medications from the US so I was able the next day to bring back what each of the kids needed. I was glad to go to the orphanage even though this wasn’t on my original agenda.  I was able to help out a little, to love on the kids in the orphanage and to meet Rene’.

Rene’ was a handsome 6-year-old with soulful big brown eyes.  Rozie bonded with him the first day and they were buddies all week.  It was near the end of our stay that she asked me if we could adopt him from the orphanage.  We were told when we first came that by law the children in orphanages could only be adopted by Ecuadorean families.  So my answer to her had to be no.  The good-byes when we left the last day were tearful. Rozie was not the only one crying for many in our group had become close to the children in their care that week.  My friend, Scott who was one of the leaders of our group, had to tear himself away from a little boy who had been so ill with bronchitis earlier but was now improved greatly with antibiotics.  He asked me if I thought he would be ok.  Yes he would, but would we? It was so difficult for us to leave.

It was about 6 months later that Padre (Father) Jose’ Carollo, the priest who founded Tierra Nueva Clinic in South Quito, came to the US for a visit at Christmas.  Padre was a big bear of a man who loved to hug everyone around him.  We came to love him for who he was and what he had done over his lifetime for the poor in Quito.  Everywhere in Quito if the name of Padre Carollo was mentioned, doors would open in welcome.  He was like the Mother Theresa of Ecuador.  Padre did not speak English but the love of Jesus radiated from him.  He knew that some of us from our group had become very attached to the children in the St. Vincent Orphanage. Through interpretation by my friend Scott who speaks fluent Spanish, Padre said to me that he could help us get around the rule that the orphans could only be adopted by Ecuadorean parents.  He was so well thought of and had so much influence in Quito that I was sure he could help us adopt Rene’ if I gave the word to move forward.

Thoughts raced through my mind. What should I do?  It had only been a year since my marriage had dissolved.  I was basically a single mom to my 3 children.  Was it fair to them or to Rene’ to bring him into our family at this time?  My heart said that I should say no so he would have a chance to be adopted by an Ecuadorean family and stay in his own country. I thanked Padre for his offer of help but I told him no that day 13 years ago.

Many times I have wondered how Rene’ is doing and I have prayed for him often.  His picture with Rozie hung on our refrigerator for years.  I found out through Padre Carollo that all the children in his class were eventually adopted.  My hope was that a loving family found him and gave him opportunities to succeed in Ecuador. He would be 19 now!

We all have crossroads in our lives when a certain choice takes us down one path and not another.  Some are active choices and some we simply don’t choose.  Not choosing is a choice in itself.  In Andy Andrews’ book, “The Lost Choice” he explains this concept when he says, “You have been created with the ability to change the world.  Every single choice you make…every singe action you take…matters.  But remember, the converse is also true.  Every choice you do not make…every action you do not take…matters just as much!”  When I was given the choice to help Shadrach or not in 1993, I said yes.  This took me on a journey that changed my life and his forever.  The effect of this one decision rippled through my whole family and community.  The results have been dramatic.  I thank God for prompting me to take the risk to say yes even though it seemed a little crazy at the time. My life has been blessed beyond belief because of this one decision.

As we cross over into the new year this week,  it is an appropriate time to take an inventory of the choices we have made in the past year.  Whether we judge these choices to be good or bad, there is no doubt that they have made a difference in our lives and the lives of those in our circle of influence.  Many years ago I had the choice to pursue adopting a young boy from Ecuador.  I don’t know if I would even have been successful if I would have accepted help from Padre Carollo.  Was it the “right” choice to leave him in the orphanage to be adopted later by an Ecuadorean family?  I may never know the answer to this question this side of heaven.  This was a “Lost Choice” in that I can never go back to change that decision.  But I trust that my God answers prayers. And because of this trust, I know that Rene’ has always been held in the palm of God’s hand and he is right where He wants him to be.

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This story was written to honor the memory of Padre Jose’ Carollo who died in the mid 2000’s of cancer.  I feel fortunate to have met this friend of Jesus.  When in Ecuador I told Padre Carollo that I regretted not being able to share in the Eucharist during mass in his church since I am not catholic.  In response, he asked me, “Don’t we believe in the same God?”  “Yes,” I answered.  Next he said something I will never forget. “I will serve you the Eucharist.”  If more of us in the Church universal were as inclusive as Padre Carollo, our world would be transformed for Christ.  Thank you Padre for your Christ-like example.  Throughout your life, you were the hands and feet of Jesus.