Monthly Archives: November 2013

Breaking Bread Together

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My first medical mission trip was to Haiti in 2000. The poverty was staggering. As we flew in to Port-au-Prince, I remember the overwhelming thought that the city looked like a war zone from above, but it wasn’t. The blue water of the Caribbean turned a dirty brown as it flowed into the harbor. After landing, we were met by throngs of people at the airport wanting to carry our bags for money. We made our way through this gauntlet to the buses that took us to our hotel. The streets of the city were scattered with trash. Raw sewage flowed in the ditches. I noticed that all the electric wires over the streets had numerous wires spliced into them. Walking along the streets were women with huge loads of charcoal, eggs and all sorts of other items on their heads. Outside the entrance to the hotel stood armed guards. Graffiti covered the walls but once inside everything changed. It was like a garden oasis in the midst of squalor. There was color in contrast to all the browns and greys of the streets. The green of large plants with brilliant flowers in bloom was almost shocking. The blue of the pool in the center of the courtyard was peaceful and calm compared to the constant motion outside. The people of the city were locked out of this little piece of respite that most weren’t even aware existed.

Everyday we went out to set up medical brigades in schools and churches through the city and surrounding villages. We were accompanied by several Haitian pastors and young men who helped with interpreting and general crowd control. We became quite fond of many of them. One of the pastors was diabetic and he asked many questions trying to educate himself on the disease. He had a glucose meter someone had given him at his home and asked if we could make sure he was using it correctly. After clinic was completed for the day, one of our nurses and I went with him to his home. We piled into his dented but functional little car for the short trip. As we walked from the car, children played makeshift games of football (soccer). One boy had a basketball and had rigged up a hoop of sorts to play. I called to him, “Michael Jordan?” “No,” he said, “Iverson.” I was surprised by his knowledge of American sports.

The pastor led us down narrow stairs into his home. It was more like an apartment connected to numerous others that terraced down the hillside. He was proud to show us his place. It was clean and neat. He even had a refrigerator and electricity although we knew the power was intermittent at best. Even in our hotel the power would randomly go off and on.

After we completed our one-on-one diabetic coaching, he drove us back to our hotel. His niece accompanied us. We invited them both to join us for dinner since the hour was late and we knew as a diabetic, he needed to eat. At first they were reluctant but conceded. When we entered the front of the hotel, we were promptly stopped because of our guests. We had to do quite a bit of convincing to the guards to let them in. Upon walking in to the courtyard, we could see the awe on their faces. As we sat for our meal together, they were noticeably uncomfortable. They didn’t have any idea how to navigate a buffet. We had to encourage them to take what they wanted from the wide selection of food. They were strangers to our world and felt out-of-place being here. When they left, I felt guilty that I was privileged to stay.

Someday we will all be invited to a Great Banquet by our king, Jesus. The ones originally invited will shirk the meal and will make excuses for not coming. Then the Lord will invite the people from the streets to join in. They will celebrate with great feasting on that day. The ones who felt left out on earth will never be needy again in Heaven.

When the massive earthquake hit Haiti in 2010, this pastor who broke bread with me back in 2000, was the first person on my mind. I sent prayers heavenward for him, not knowing if he at that moment was with the Lord. I still don’t know what happened to him but my hope is to meet him again someday at the Lord’s Great Banquet. No one will feel out-of-place but everyone will be welcome on that day. On this Thanksgiving, remember our brothers and sisters throughout the world who don’t have the blessing of food in plenty as we do. Share a meal with them if you can physically or through donations to a food pantry. Someday we will all be sitting together at the same table with the Lord.

 

Near Misses

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Sunday afternoon my husband, my daughter Anna and I huddled together in our cellar with flashlights as we heard the low rumble of the tornado that skimmed by us just south of our house.  The sound lasted less than a minute but was distinctive.  When all seemed to be clear, we emerged from our shelter to find the house unscathed.  Only a few small limbs were down in the yard.  The tornado had missed us. Others were not so fortunate.  The cities of Lafayette and Kokomo were hit hard.  Luckily only property damage and no lives were lost.  But the devastation will takes months to repair and the emotional wounds, years to heal.

I’ve lived in the Midwest my whole life so I’m somewhat used to tornado drills but this was the closest I’ve ever come to one myself.  It was a “near miss.”  I’ve experienced numerous “near misses” over my lifetime.  The most harrowing involved another strong storm.  It was midnight when we heard a tremendously loud “crack” with a clap of thunder directly over us.  I knew immediately that we had been hit by lightning.  I looked all around the house but could not visibly see any damage.  After feeling satisfied that all was well, I went to bed. The following morning I just felt that something was wrong. My morning routine was usually to shower first then wake the kids for breakfast.  This morning however I first went down to the kitchen to check things out.  As I walked into the kitchen, I could hear a hissing sounds that was coming from the basement.  As soon as I opened the basement door I knew right away what it was. The smell of gas was strong.  I didn’t know it then but the lightning strike had ruptured the gas line as it entered the house.  The basement had filled with gas all night.  At that moment, all I knew was we had to get out of the house immediately.  I hastily woke the kids and we all walked the block down to my sister’s house in our pajamas with the dog in tow.

Shortly thereafter, the repairman from the gas company arrived and I met him in the driveway (still in my pj’s).  As we walked up the driveway, the gas indicator he carried started to sound.  He looked a little shocked and asked where the electric shut off was.  Luckily it was just in the side door to the garage and the gas shut off was just outside it.  When it was safe to re-enter the house, the repairman showed me the numerous holes in the gas line in the basement.  He said we were extremely lucky that the house did not blow up with the amount of gas that had collected.  If the water heater had started up it would have exploded!

If I had taken a shower first as I usually did, I probably wouldn’t be writing this today.  What was it or who was it that told me to go to the kitchen first?  It makes me shudder to think that the kids and I could have been gone in an instant.  Garrett looked at me afterward and said, “Mom, I guess God has more for us to do here.”  Yes, I guess He does!

A “near miss” like this and the close call with the tornado bring up so many questions I would like to ask God.  When tragedy strikes we ask “why me?”  But when it passes us by we ask, “why not me?”  I’m still here while others were not so fortunate.  I’m thankful and blessed certainly but is there something more You want me to do, Lord?

I don’t claim to understand God’s ways any more than anyone else.  There are mysteries that will not be answered until we are face to face with our Creator.  But I do believe that God is in control and His plan is perfect.  I can’t see it now but every struggle, every tragedy and every blessed “near miss” happens as a part of His great plan.  Anymore I don’t ask God “why” but I ask “what are You trying to reveal to me through this experience?”  Every step of the way, I am being refined with fire, purified as gold to remove all the impurities in my life.  This is a painful but necessary process.

As Thanksgiving is coming near, I am thankful for all the blessings I have been given.  The house not being destroyed by the tornado is good but when I really look at what is important, it is nothing.  Our relationships with people and with God are the only thing that matters when all else is gone.  Love alone remains.

Thank you Lord for Your love and all those I love and who love me here on earth and all those with you in heaven.  Amen!

Persist Without Exception

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I imagine that we all read sometime in our childhood the Aesop’s Fable, “The Tortoise and the Hare.”  We consciously cheered

on the underdog tortoise as he slowly plods on to beat the overconfident hare.  But was the tortoise really an underdog?  He may have appeared to be on the outside but inside he had a quality the hare never possessed that gave him the advantage all along: PERSISTENCE.

Persistence is the inner fortitude to keep going no matter what.  It is the steel of a decision made that will be followed through until the end.  The tortoise had his eyes set on the finish line while the hare was distracted by everything else around him.  Paul encouraged the early Christian church in the letter to the Hebrews to keep their eyes focused.  “Let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the sake of the joy set before Him endured the cross…” So persistence involves a decision to move forward plus a determined focus on the goal.

How many dreams have been forfeited because in our minds we thought we couldn’t attain it?  It was really a self-filling prophecy.  We made excuses why we never took the first step toward the dream. “I’m not smart enough.  I don’t have the money it would take.  I have too many other responsibilities.”  The world is full of people weighed down by the burden of “not enough” thinking.  If they do start moving toward their dream, they don’t have the fortitude to continue if they are met by criticism or roadblocks.  They feel justified in saying, “Well I tried but it just didn’t work out.”  They settle for mediocrity.

Shadrach had many times that he experienced giant setbacks in his quest to become a doctor.  He had the innate ability within him to accomplish this goal but everything around him seemed to be against it.  He fled out of Liberia numerous times avoiding resurgences of the civil war.  But he kept his eye on the goal, never giving up.  He was discouraged but not overcome with defeat.  All the time, God was in the background, setting circumstances up for Shadrach to achieve his goal. It wasn’t in the way he imagined.  He had to navigate over and around many road blocks but he did it.  He persisted without exception.

Andy Andrews has written a book called “The Travelers Gift.”  It is a fictional story of a man who goes back in time to meet 7 people who had great accomplishments or were exceptionally admired for their life.  He developed 7 qualities that made these people great that he calls the 7 decisions. Of the 7 decisions, Andy notes that the decision to persist without exception is the most important.  All the other decisions hinge upon this decision.  The 7 decisions are as follows:  The Responsible Decision (The Buck Stops Here), The Guided Decision (I Will Seek Wisdom), The Active Decision (I Am a Person of Action), The Certain Decision (I Have a Decided Heart), The Joyful Decision (Today, I Will Choose To Be Happy), The Compassionate Decision (I Will Greet This Day With a Spirit of Forgiveness), and last but certainly not least The Persistent Decision (I Will Persist Without Exception).

There may be many who are smarter, stronger, wealthier, or more beautiful than you.  But if you have sought wisdom and made an educated decision to follow a certain dream, then move toward that goal with action.  Don’t sit still.  Don’t stop. Persist without exception.  Be the tortoise and win the race.

Reminded of our humanity

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My daughter Anna and I were fortunate to see an advanced screening of “The Book Thief” earlier this week.  I would highly recommend it.  We laughed, we cried, and I forgot to bring tissues!  The movie is set in a German neighborhood in the midst of Hitler’s reign of terror during WWII and follows one family struggling to live day-to-day through the madness.  In one scene, Hans (papa) tries to defend the character of a jewish neighbor as he is being drug away by the Gestapo.  He tells them that he is a good man and he has known him his whole life.  Hans is forced to tell the Gestapo his name and is thrown to the ground, unable to stop them. Afterward he says to his wife as she is cleaning his wounds, “What did I do?  What did I do?.”  What she said in response cut to the heart of the issue.  “What you did was remind them of their humanity.” The German people had lost sight of their humanity through Hitler’s influence.  They bought into the lies that the Jews (and anyone not of the Aryan race) were to blame for their country’s woes. They forgot that these people not long before were trusted friends and neighbors.  The Germans who realized that all this was very wrong, were too afraid to speak up for fear of the same fate as the Jews.  The country as a whole was pulled into the insanity.  A few brave souls stood out like the German theologian, Dietrich Bonhoeffer. He could have stayed in America, out of harms way, but instead chose to return to Germany to help the Resistance effort.  He was part of a failed attempt to assassinate Hitler.  He died in a concentration camp 2 weeks before the end of the war.  His classic book, “The Cost of Discipleship” has a large readership yet today.  Did he imagine that the cost of discipleship would be his life when he wrote it?

Jesus was constantly reminding people of their humanity in many of his parables.  When asked by  a lawyer what he was to do to gain eternal life, Jesus asked him what was written in the law.  He answered that he should love the Lord, his God was all his soul, heart, mind and strength and love his neighbor as himself.  Jesus confirmed that he was correct and told him to do this and he would live. But the man then asked Jesus, “Who is my neighbor?”  Jesus never really answered his question but told him the story of the good Samaritan who helped a man injured by the side of the road after two other people considered “good” by their observance of the rules, passed him by.  Jesus turned the tables on the questioner by presenting a Samaritan who was despised by Jews as the hero in the story.  He then asked, “Who in the story was a neighbor to the injured man?”  The teacher of the law had to answer, “The one who showed him mercy.”  Jesus never said who our neighbor is but said that we should be a neighbor to anyone in need.  In other words, we should not judge who should be considered our neighbor because we are to be the neighbor. He told the lawyer, “Go and do likewise.”

It’s easy to pick and choose who we consider to be our neighbors.  Usually they are people who think and look just like us.  But if we had eyes to see like Jesus sees, we couldn’t help but see the humanity in everyone.  To do this we have to step out of the familiar to meet these neighbors who are different from ourselves where they are.  Most of us will never be asked to risk our lives to help a neighbor but would we step up to the task if such a situation arose? The people in Germany and the surrounding countries who did risk their lives hiding Jews were no different from you and me.  The family in “The Book Thief” was an ordinary family but they chose to hide a young Jewish man in their basement for 2 years. Their eyes could see the humanity of this brother and they could not turn their backs on him. In the Gospel of John, Jesus spoke of this kind of sacrifice, “…love one another as I have loved you.  No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”  Jesus did this for us. Now the challenge is, with His strength, to go and do likewise.

 

 

The Ultimate Sacrifice

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I was touched deeply by a piece I read recently that was shared by a friend on Facebook about a fallen soldier who was escorted by his family and another soldier on his final journey home.  The family was honored by the flight staff and all the people on board the plane that carried the remains of their soldier.  This young man had made the ultimate sacrifice of his life to protect you and me. The story felt very personal  after being at Ft. Benning last week for Garrett’s graduation from basic training.  During all the ceremonies involved, I was struck by how much emphasis is placed on the higher calling embraced by the military. Garrett’s girlfriend, Lily, even asked me at one point whether the Army was a Christian organization.  I don’t think they could officially claim this.  It would not be “politically correct” to do so.  But it is obvious that those who make the decisions are spiritual people.  They are not afraid to call upon God openly at all their ceremonies.  I noticed that they were careful not to name Jesus.  They used a generic “God” term but the tone was definitely Christian.  Prior to this experience, I hadn’t really contemplated the very spiritual nature of military service.

Before Garrett made his decision to join the National Guard, he and I discussed why he felt called to do this.  He hopes while in the military to learn to fly helicopters since flying is a love of his life.  However his reasons for serving in the military are much deeper than that.  He truly wants to make a difference.  Protecting Americans and our freedom is not just a job, it’s a calling, a duty most of us don’t comprehend unless you are a soldier yourself.

I can relate somewhat, since medicine has a calling and a need for self-sacrifice as does the military.  Certain professions fill needs demanded by society and are more a calling than simply a job. As stated by Andrew Abbott in The System of Professions,” The sick want a cure, the sinner wants absolution, the accused wants exoneration, and the defenseless seek security.” When we had time to talk this last week, Garrett and I discussed the commonality of servanthood as an integral part of careers in Medicine, Pastoral Care, Law and the Military. For doctors, med school is like basic training in many ways.  Med students back in my day were called “Scut Dogs” and we were given the patient care jobs nobody wanted.  I spent 3 months at the VA in Indianapolis doing everything from starting IV’s, placing catheters, disimpacting patients and even transporting them to radiology.  I stayed overnight “on call” every 3rd night while I was in the 3rd trimester of pregnancy with my oldest child, Anna.  It was tough and I complained a lot to my family.  But my team took great care of our patients and they loved us for it.  Vets are a great group of patients.  They appreciate everything you do.  We came to love them too.  We all cried when one of our patients died of heart failure after a viral cardiomyopathy destroyed his heart.  He was only in his 30’s.  He needed a heart transplant but we were told then that the VA didn’t put patients on the transplant list.  That was 30 years ago.  I hope that policy has changed since then.  We were heart-broken ourselves when despite all our supportive efforts, his heart gave out one night on our call.  We felt powerless to help him but  in a real sense we did help him by truly caring.

I look back at this time of trial as a 3rd year med student as a period that strengthened me mentally and physically like a soldier.  I learned more in places like the VA than anywhere else.  I understand the sacrifice of time and energy that soldiers make.  But I’ve never been asked to put my life on the line for another. This is a dimension beyond what most of us are asked to do.  I could palpably feel this deep commitment by the soldiers during their graduation last week. They are there to protect us and give their lives doing it if they have to.  It’s a calling and a duty that is very spiritual and deep within every soldier or they wouldn’t be there.  I think the Soldier’s Creed says it all.

I Am an American Soldier

I am a Warrior and a member of a team.  I serve the people of

the United States and live the Army Values.

I will always place the mission first.

I will never accept defeat.

I will never quit.

I will never leave a fallen comrade.

I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough,

trained and proficient in my warrior

tasks and drills.  I always maintain my arms,

my equipment, and myself.

I am an expert and I am a professional.

I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy

the enemies of the United States of America in

close combat.

I am a guardian of freedom and the American

way of life.

I am an American Soldier.

Powerful Beyond Belief

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This morning on Facebook I read a post by David Whyte about honesty.  The article basically asserted that honesty is admitting where we are powerless and that we are often dishonest because we are fearful of loss.  The more I thought about this, it became clear to me that I absolutely disagree with this.  We must be honest about our circumstances but we are by no means helpless in them.  Honesty is being real and authentic with who we are.  We should not try deceive ourselves and others into believing we are someone who we are not.  However, I don’t believe we are powerless to change if we choose.  I tend to sit in the camp that we are more powerful than we think.  Every action we take affects another and can lead to a chain reaction of good or evil.  To not recognize this is dishonest.  We do not live in a vacuum.  Every decision matters.  Even indecision matters.  Often what we choose not to do can have far-reaching consequences.

I believe I am here to be a part of a bigger story.  I am a player on a team or an actor on a stage but the game/story is real life coached/directed by God.  We all play a part even if we don’t recognize it at the time.  Dishonesty is not acknowledging our role in the unfolding of history.  I am a powerful agent for good if I choose to be. This is a scary responsibility.  I don’t want to mess it up but the fact is, I will and I have.  It doesn’t mean that I am not redeemed to be an agent for good another day.

Peter fell hard when he denied Jesus the night he was taken to be crucified.  Yet he became one of Jesus’ most influential spokesman the rest of his life.  His recognition of his need for redemption made him powerful.  It freed him to be an agent for good.  He wasn’t mired down in the self-pity of helplessness.  After His resurrection, Jesus took Peter aside on the shores of the Sea of Galilee to commission him to care for and feed His sheep.  Jesus gave Peter the power to overcome his losses.  Jesus saw Peter’s potential.  He looked beyond who Peter was to who he could be.  Peter could have said, “but I’m only a fisherman.  What can I do?”  Instead he with the other disciples changed the world for good.

Don’t say to yourself, “I am only…”  Honesty says you are powerful.  Each one of us has the potential to change the world in our own sphere of influence.  However, if you choose to believe in your perceived helplessness, it will never happen.

Forgiveness to Restoration

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A wise person once pointed out to me that forgiveness is a one way street but restoration must be two-way.  In other words, to forgive only take one party but in restoration both parties must be willing to lay down their arms and meet in the middle wherever that may be.  When we pray, “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us,” we need to wrap our minds around what this really means.  In the gospel of Matthew, Jesus elaborated on this when he said that the Father forgives us in the same way we forgive others.  Forgiveness is not a suggestion but a mandate if we want to be forgiven ourselves.   In contrast, restoration, even though it is the preferred choice, is not always possible.  I can forgive someone without them even knowing it but we both have to choose to forgive for restoration.  We can’t force another to choose forgiveness.  We all have free will in this.  But isn’t it wonderful when it happens!

Recall in the Bible when Jacob was sweating bullets awaiting his inevitable reunion with his brother Esau?  Jacob had basically cheated his brother out of his birth right some 20 years before.  They hadn’t spoken since.  Does this sound like some family quarrels that end with brothers or sisters not speaking to each other for decades?  Often no one really even remembers what started the original rift but it goes on and on because no one wants to be the first to concede to the other.  Sometimes however, it is something big like the Jacob/Esau quarrel.  How do we get to restoration in a situation like this?

Take a lesson from Jacob.  You must reach out first and make contact with the other person.  As Jacob was traveling back to his homeland, he was afraid that Esau would be still angry enough to kill him and his whole family which had now grown to be quite large.  He sent ahead of his group, gifts in waves as peace offerings.  He did not approach Esau ready to fight but ready to reconcile.  It took a tremendous amount of humility, that wasn’t in Jacob’s character, to do this.  Yes, he was fearful of Esau who was much more powerful than he but he could have taken his family elsewhere and avoided Esau altogether but he didn’t.  I think that Jacob was tired of the separation and wanted to be back in his homeland.  It takes a lot of energy to keep up a quarrel with someone.  It wears you down after a while.  The same was probably true of Esau.  We’ll never know if the gift offerings made a difference in Esau’s choice to embrace his brother when they met or whether time had softened his heart.  It was probably a little of both.  Either way, peace was made between the brothers.  They weren’t buddies by any means after this but they weren’t enemies anymore either.  Their relationship was restored as best as it could be.

Jacob wrestled all night with God before he met with Esau the next morning.  Do I wrestle with God when what I need to do is not what I want to do?  Absolutely!  I want to be right.  I want to be vindicated for the wrong done to me.  I don’t want to concede anything.  I was the victim, not the perpetrator in the situation.  Why are you asking me to do this Lord?  You know what they did to me!  But then I remember the wounds in Jesus’ hands and side.  He chose to be the victim for me so that I might be forgiven and reconciled to God.  I need to do likewise.

This week I have been living in a Chalet in Ft. Benning Georgia with my ex-husband Dan, his wife Andi and Garrett’s girlfriend, Lily for Garrett’s graduation from Basic Training.  It sounds odd but it’s all good.  We have long ago resolved our differences after the divorce.  We’ve had a great time together.  What’s more important, harboring grudges or supporting our kids?  That’s a no brainer!  But many couples continue to fight decades after the divorce because they each fully believe that they were victims.  There comes a time to be humble enough to let go of the offenses for the greater good.  Besides,  look at the fun we would have missed out on.  It’s always better to celebrate together rather than insisting on a separate peace.  Reconciliation and restoration of relationship are God’s plan for us, if only we are willing to let it happen.