Monthly Archives: September 2013

Sweet Dreams

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When God speaks to us He reveals Himself in varied and sometimes surprising ways.  Some are subtle messages to your heart like the  “God Nudges” I’ve mentioned in an earlier post or when you have a new revelation from a familiar Bible passage. Sometimes He gets our attention in dramatic ways like He did when He called me to help Shadrach.  In other situations He sends His message to us in dreams such as the one that changed Shadrach’s career direction.  When our hearts are open, He connects with us right where we are by any means possible.

Many years ago, God gave me a dream that I will never forget.  It was a recurring dream and it came at a time I needed it desperately.

When I was 16 years old, my family, a friend and I were involved in a car accident. My mom and my sister Beth were injured.  My friend Pam and I walked away without a scratch but my little sister, Gaynelle was killed instantly.  I was the driver.

On a cold February day as we traveled to Lebanon for a band concert, I felt the car slip on ice and go toward the ditch.  I couldn’t control the car and ended up in a field. We were in an older car that had no seatbelts in the back and it was a time before car seats for kids.  Everyone in the back seat was thrown out.  Pam and I were safe with our seat belts on. The guilt and grief I felt over the loss of my little sister was almost unbearable.

At that time God brought to me an angel in the form of my pastor and a dream that pulled me out of this pit.  Pastor Dave Garrigus was a large but gentle man who would simply sit with me and listen. I really don’t remember any advice he gave me but his presence was the comfort I needed.  However the dream I was to have gave me hope.

In my dream, I was walking down a long, dirt country road. There were pastures surrounding me and a woods beyond.  Up ahead I could see an old farmhouse with a large front porch with rockers on it.  As I walked toward the house, suddenly someone came out of the front door and ran out to the road towards me.  She came closer and I could see that it was a young child.  Then the realization dawned that it was Gaynelle!  She jumped into my arms, hugging me tightly.  The only words she said to me through her beaming face were, “We’ve been waiting for you.”  As she said this I looked up and on the front porch stood my grandfather, my aunt Gaynelle who my sister had been named  after and other family members who had passed away.  All of a sudden I realized that I was being given a glimpse into heaven and then the dream was gone.  It recurred several nights in a row so I could fully grasp that this was a gift to me from God.

I’ve never had a dream like that before or after.  It gave me what I needed to be able to move on and live the full life I know my sister would want for me.  It’s been nearly 40 years since Gaynelle died and I’ve missed her tremendously.  But I know I will be with her someday. She’s waiting on me.

 

 

Real Family

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When Shadrach first came to our home, he was a stranger. It wasn’t long however before he was family.  He calls my parents grandma and grandpa and my kids call him brother.  Shad came from a large, extended family but in most places here in the US, the extended family is almost extinct.  We are independent and mobile causing us to live painfully isolated from each other.  I am so thankful that I have always lived close to most of my family.  I have known 3 generations of grandmothers and benefited from their history and wisdom.  My children have traveled away from Indiana but they have always come back home.  I have to believe that this is because they have strong family ties here.  We have a legacy of stories that we love to share whenever we are together as a whole for a meal or a holiday.  Shadrach has become a part of this family history.

Radical hospitality, in the best possible sense, leads us to become family with each other.  I wrote about this in a previous post as it relates to the strangers God puts in our path but it also relates to those we know best in our own churches.  We are called to be “The Body of Christ” but instead we are disjointed parts trying to function all on our own.  We were never meant to be this way.  We are wired to be in community helping each other in our daily struggles like an extended family.  For this to happen though we have to be open and honest with each other.  We have to let down our facade and be vulnerable.  However, there is a sense in most of our churches that we have to act as if we have everything together even when we are falling apart.  We can’t help each other if we can’t admit that we need it.

How do we go about changing this reality?  I think we have to consciously reach out to each other and allow others to reach out to us.  Reaching out to others who have no biologic family or have family far away from them is important and necessary.  To do this though, we have to be willing to be responsible and accountable to each other.  This is tough.  It requires that we may be asked to be there for someone else even when it is uncomfortable or inconvenient. My husband Tim is so good at this.  I envy him in this because it is an area I struggle with.

A year ago in October, Ryan, the son of good friends of ours was in a terrible auto accident.  He had a traumatic brain injury (TBI) and has been in rehab since.  He has made tremendous strides but it has been slow.  We are celebrating that he passed his swallow test so now he can eat and hopefully get rid of his feeding tube soon.  What seems like a minor thing like swallowing is a major thing after a TBI.  Our friends and their son are true heroes for their courage and perseverance.

Tim has made it his habit to visit Ryan every week.  He will read to him, plays “Angry Birds” with him and generally just chooses to be there with him.  He jokes with Ryan that they will take a baseball bat to the machine that pumps in his tube feedings.  It beeps incessantly and drives him crazy.  Ryan has several faithful visitors.  They are acting as extended family for Ryan and his mom and dad.  They are being the “Body of Christ.”

This kind of family is what we all need and long for if we are honest.  It adds a dimension of belonging that you don’t get anywhere else.  Sometimes my real family and my extended church family can drive me crazy because none of us are perfect.  But isn’t that really the point?  We aren’t perfect.  We need each other.  I wouldn’t give up these  wonderful, sometimes exasperating relationships for anything.

Radical Hospitality

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When Shadrach came to the US, he initially came to live with my family. This was something I had not counted on when I started out with a commitment to sponsor his education.  You see, we thought that his education would be in Africa but the ongoing civil war in Liberia made that impossible. As time went on it became apparent that coming to the US to study was imperative. I felt that I had formed a solid bond with Shad through our letters, but we had never met face to face.  Having a refugee from Africa come to live in my home was way out of my comfort zone. He was a stranger from a foreign land and a different culture. God was really stretching me to trust.  In retrospect, there was nothing for me to fear, but at the time I didn’t know that.

In Matthew 25, Jesus makes very personal statements about who are His true followers and who are not. “I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.” When one of His followers act in this way towards those in need, in essence they are doing it for Jesus. Isn’t this hospitality in the broadest sense of the word?  It’s often easy to simply give to organizations that are doing these very things and feel that we are living up to what Jesus asked.  But are we really?

I believe Jesus wants us to get out of our comfort zone and make the statements in Matthew personal.  It’s comfortable to contribute when it’s someplace else but what if it’s right in your own backyard?  Do our churches really show hospitality to the stranger when they come into our building? Are we known as simply a friendly church or are we truly welcoming?  These two things are very different you know.

When Jesus walked this earth, He pretty much hung around with outcasts and losers and He was chastised for that by the religious people of His day.  He spent His time with prostitutes and tax collectors who were considered the low lifes of society.  He didn’t mind that the woman at the well was a despised Samaritan and he healed the servant of a Roman.  They were both foreigners.  People with disabilities and diseases were with Him always and He didn’t turn them away.  He met people where they were and loved them there. This is just what He did. He got to know them. They were His friends.

I witnessed  Jesus in action this last week at my church when a stranger walked in.  The man was just passing through and decided to stop by.  Someone invited him to join our Sunday school class.  We paused in what we were doing, got him up to speed on what we were studying and included him in the discussion.  After Sunday school he was accompanied up to the worship service.  When church was over, we were having a pitch-in lunch.  He was invited to stay for the meal and numerous people talked with him.  We found out he was out of work and so we’re now looking for opportunities for him. He was sent home with 2 bags of groceries for his family.  We may never see him again but he knows he has friends at this church and he’s welcome anytime.

I am fairly new to this church but I’ve come to know that this kind of hospitality is their norm.  They don’t really have any strangers in their midst. Everyone is a friend.  They meet people where they are and love them there.

Who are the strangers Jesus is asking you to befriend?  Are they of a different race or culture like Shad?  Maybe they have disabilities or are mentally ill.  They could have addictions to alcohol, drugs or porn.  Perhaps they are an ex-con. What if they are gay or they choose to cohabit?  Can you love them right where they are even if they are radically different from you or they’re not living in a way you think they should?  This is radical hospitality. Jesus is calling each of us out of our comfort zone to reach out to the stranger with love, not condemnation.  Are you ready to befriend the stranger Jesus puts in your path today?

 

 

 

 

To Believe or Not to Believe-That is the Question

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Being a Christian today is not easy. There is so much negative press in the media. To believe in something that cannot be seen is almost anti-intellectual in many circles.

But let’s think about this for a minute. Don’t we believe in things that we can’t see all the time? Scientists are finding smaller and smaller particles within the atom. Some of these we can see with high-powered microscopes but many we cannot. We see evidence that they exist so we believe.

Are we able to see the wind? No, but we can feel it’s presence. We see it moving the leaves on the trees and the clouds in the sky. We know it exists even though we cannot see it.

So it is with God. We cannot visibly see Him but we see evidence of Him all around us.  We see Him in the complexity of the human body with each cell working together in magnificent ways.  We see the sun rising every day as it always does and the seasons come and go as they always do. The order of the world around us is comforting and mind-boggling at the same time.

There are “coincidences” that are timed so well as to be impossible to just happen randomly. Many of the stories in “Letters Out of Africa” are God “coincidences.”  I believe that there is no other explanation but that the events leading my friend, Shadrach to America were orchestrated by the hand of God. Nothing in my wildest dreams imagined I would be a part of this story. This was God’s plan. We were just willing participants as the plan unfolded.

Many people can say to the day when they began to believe in the existence of God. They had a special event, an “aha” moment when they came to know there was a God who cared about them. I never had a date in time that I could say was the beginning for me. It seems that I have always known that God was with me from my very beginning. I don’t remember a time that I didn’t believe. When I was very young, maybe 3 or 4 years old, I recall praying or really just talking to God and asking him to help me. I had done something that had upset my mother and she had sent me to my room. I never quite made it to my bedroom but was sitting at the top of the stairs asking God for my mom to forgive me and let me come back downstairs. Of course she did and she came to me moments later. All was right in my world.

Now yes, I would agree that this was an easy prayer for God to answer. He knew my mom and knew what her response to me would be. But no matter. I knew as a child that God was with me and He has stayed with me ever since. We have had our ups and downs. There have been times that I have been very angry with God. There have been times I have doubted Him but that sense of belief, that “knowing” down in my heart never left. As I look back on my life, through all my mistakes and wrong turns, I can see the hand of God guiding me back to the path he has set out for me.

I liken my journey with God to an old hymn that is a favorite of mine called “In the Garden”. The first verse reads, “I come to the garden alone while the dew is still on the roses, and the voice I hear falling on my ear, the Son of God discloses. And he walks with me, and he talks with me, and he tells me I am his own; and the joy we share as we tarry there, none other has ever known.” The truth is though that others can walk with God and know Him too, just like me. Just open your heart to see the evidence of the unseen. Seek Him and you will find Him or rather He will find you. Will life be easy? No, it still will be tough. Will you never mess up again? No, we are still broken people who will never quite be fixed until we’re in heaven. But I can tell you that your life will be sweeter and richer than anyone could know. I wouldn’t give it up for anything.

Called to be faithful…not successful

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I remember a quote from Mother Theresa that has really resonated with me: “God doesn’t ask us to be successful, He asks us to be faithful.”  During this project to create a website (which is way out of my comfort zone) and publish my book, I’ve experienced again (as I find myself running in circles), the insight that being faithful doesn’t always mean being successful. They are not often one in the same. Sometimes we don’t see the results of what we do. But God does. I want to have the right attitude about this. It’s not about me. It’s about glorifying God. Being faithful even if I don’t see the results AND being OK with that.  I’ve always said to my kids to do the right thing no matter what. Maybe that is the whole point.  People watch our actions much more than they listen to our words.  I have to BE my words.  Am I?  Not hardly.  Maybe this is why it’s so hard to say the things I want to because I don’t live up to this standard.  None of us do. But If no one dares to stands up to say or do what is right because we are unworthy then no one will. No! We are worthy not because of what we say or do but because we are children of God. We are made worthy through Jesus. We are broken, flawed people just trying to love God and our neighbor the best we can. This is our offering to God. This is my offering to God to be faithful on the journey.

Don’t get me wrong. There is nothing inherently wrong with success. I enjoy it as much as anyone and we would get discouraged if we were never successful. But it’s the world that judges us on our successes, not God. Our greatest gift to Him is our faithfulness.

Mother Theresa was famous for what she did in her lifetime. She was successful in the world’s eyes. But I believe that even if she had failed or never was noticed at all for what she did, she would have done it anyway. She was called to be faithful… not successful.

It’s been 50 years since Dr. Martin Luther King’s famous “I have a dream” speech. He was faithfully following the path God had set before him when he was assasinated. If he knew that this was going to happen, would it have changed his course? I believe at every step he took in the civil rights movement, he knew that it was a real possibility that he could die for what he was doing. He did it anyway. He was faithful even though he did not live to see the results of his work. Future generations are benefiting from his faithfulness.

We all are called to be faithful in different ways. Mother Theresa and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. were no different than you and I. They were born as ordinary people who were called by God to be faithful. Being faithful for me is telling a story in “Letters Out of Africa” that is true and real. The success or failure of all my efforts are in God’s hands. My hope is that while reading this story you may come to recognize how God is calling you to be faithful. You may never see or realize success. But don’t back away. You have no idea who or when the work you do faithfully will effect someone else-maybe generations of people. Only God knows.

Expecting Miracles

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Shadrach once told me the story of how he and his mother were divinely protected while walking home from another village. They were singing as they walked along which is something I have come to know is common for the Liberian people. Shadrach often sang as he worked while helping me in our vegetable garden at my home. Both he and his mother have beautiful voices. I could visualize them doing this together.

Shadrach recounted that as they walked along the dirt road, they were not aware that they were being watched. A group of soldiers lay in wait to kill them as they returned home. However, they chose not to harm them because of the large crowd of people surrounding them, all singing together. Shadrach was made aware of this at a much later time when one of the soldiers told him this account. He told the man that he and his mother had been alone but the man insisted otherwise. Unaware, they had been accompanied by a band of singing angels!

Shadrach’s story in “Letters Out of Africa” is full of similar miraculous events. When looking back it is obvious that Shadrach has been divinely protected. Do we see the miracles all around us? Or is it only in retrospect that we see the hand of God on our lives?

I have experienced miracles in my practice of medicine that are unexplainable on a scientific basis many times. The most dramatic involved a patient of mine many years ago who suffered a massive stroke and had been comatose on a ventilator for 2 weeks. Her mother was her only next of kin and she knew that she would not want to be kept alive like this. The MRI of her brain revealed that over half of her brain had been destroyed by the stroke. Together with her team of doctors, we made the decision to turn off the ventilator so she could die in peace. On the way to the hospital the morning we planned to turn all life support off, I prayed that God would take my patient or heal her. My fear was that she would survive but be in a vegetative state. This would have devestated her mother.

Well everything was turned off and my patient was transfered out of ICU to a regular room to die. But she didn’t die. The first day she began to wake up. On the second day she started to talk and by the third day she wanted something to eat. Her mother looked at me on that third day and said, “You and I both know this is a miracle.”  I could not disagree. I felt like I was walking on holy ground when I was in her room. She recovered to go home to her mother and with much physical therapy and speech therapy has been able to function only walking with a cane.

What miracles have you seen?  Do you expect miracles or do you dismiss them as the other doctors taking care of my patient did? My patient’s repeat MRI showed a nearly healed brain! How do you explain that? I can’t.

Expect miracles. Look for them in your everyday life and you’ll see the hand of God at work. Please tell me about your own personal miracles in the “Stories from Readers” page.

Changing ordinary into extraordinary

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“Letters Out of Africa” is the story of my friendship with a young Liberian man, Shadrach Gonqueh that began with the letters written by him from Africa in the mid 1990’s. I saved all these letters knowing that someday I would write about the incredible series of events that eventually led him to the US to become a dentist. It is an interesting story in and of itself but the greater story is what went on behind the scenes that made all of it possible. You might say that my meeting Shadrach was just a coincidence but I don’t believe that. God took many ordinary people who were willing to listen and act on his behalf and He put them in the right place at the right time for all of this to happen. God is like the man behind the curtain in the “Wizard of Oz”. When you look closely you see that He is in control. But He chooses to remain hidden to all but those that have eyes to see.
None of the people in this story were especially talented or skilled. We were and still are ordinary people. The difference was a willingness to be open to God’s calling, to set aside our agenda for His. So much in the church today is doing what we think God wants us to do without really asking His opinion. It’s not to say that these things are not good but maybe God has something greater if we would just ask Him, “Lord, what do You want me to do?” He might lead you in a direction you never imagined!
Do you think I ever imagined in my wildest dreams that I would have a refugee from Africa living in my home? Never! This was God’s idea, not mine. Travis and Gina Sheets who started “Hope in the Harvest” mission never dreamed they would be living in Liberia. God led them there because they were willing to listen and act. None of the apostles were qualified for the work God put before them. They were fishermen, a tax collector and other ordinary people. When Jesus said, “Follow me”, they left what they were doing and went.
What would happen if all of God’s people asked the simple question, “Lord, what do You want me to do?” I think the world would be changed in ways we never imagined!

Suzanne

The Power to Forgive

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The civil war in Liberia was brutal and bloody. Shadrach and his family fought to survive during this time. Everything that they had ever known was gone. The Firestone Rubber Plantation that employed Shad’s father, shut down. People from one county were fighting against the people of another. Simply being from a certain county made them the enemy of another who may have in the past been their friend. Many, many children were forced to fight as soldiers. Can you imagine this? I can’t even come close. I feel it only because I have heard it but I can’t really comprehend something that is so far from my own experience. I only know that when Shadrach came to the US he was rail thin (as my grandmother would say). He had one small bag he brought with him with maybe one other set of clothes in it. This consisted of a dark pair of pants and a white long sleeved shirt we wouldn’t even give to Goodwill. He had his Bible that was given to him by Operation Classroom. That was it. Every material thing he once had called his own had been taken away. Thankfully no one in his immediate family died or was forced to fight. He still had them and he still had his faith. The war didn’t kill that too.
How many of us would be bitter after such horror? It would be difficult if not impossible not to be. But Shadrach is not bitter. He has been able to forgive and move on to heal Liberia. He tells me the people are tired of war. They don’t want to fight any longer but the country is in a shambles. There is much rebuilding needed that is going on right now to get Liberia back to the country it once was.
How has Shad been able to forgive in the midst of such devastation? Humanly speaking it would be impossible. But with God all things are possible. I find that I struggle just to forgive the little things that other people do. When a big thing comes along, I’m paralyzed. I struggled for a long time to forgive my ex-husband for things that led to our divorce. I firmly believe that the only way I have been able to forgive him is to ask God every day to help me forgive like he forgives. Forgiveness doesn’t happen in a moment. It’s a process. Little by little God cleansed my heart of the bitterness I felt. It was a painful process because He revealed to me the part I played in the divorce that I couldn’t see before. It takes me close to tears to think about it again but I truly have forgiven him. I don’t feel animosity towards him any longer when I’m around him. I haven’t forgotten what happened but those things don’t matter anymore. I’m actually planning a trip down to Fort Benning for our son’s graduation from boot camp together with my ex-husband and his wife. I few years ago I never would have imagined doing this (and wouldn’t have wanted to). God has changed my heart. Now does this mean that I don’t have trouble forgiving any more. By no means! Every time I feel that I have been wronged by someone else, I have to start the process over again asking God to help me to forgive.
I will say what I believe to be true through my own experience. To forgive is impossible for humans on our own. But when we call on the One who has forgiven us, we are given the power to forgive. Please pray that the Liberian people as a whole will ask for this power to forgive. It is the only way to heal their country.

Suzanne